21st Birthday - First One Away From Home
I didn't get the best start on my birthday this year. I went to sleep just after midnight but subsequently spend about two or three hours tossing and turning before falling into a light slumber. I'm still not sure why I wasn't able to fall asleep but it was hell of annoying.
I had an early class, so I was up by 7.30 AM. The 'happy birthday' messages from my family and friends helped to get me out of bed but I did really want to stay under the duvet. Nevertheless, I ventured out after having had a quick breakfast.
Class wasn't fun at all. We spend the first half an hour going through the assignment due in three weeks, which counts for 40 % of my grade in that class. Due to the lack of sleep, I had a hard time focussing on anything and the mention of the important assignment didn't exactly help my stress levels. This was shaping up to be a difficult day.
The three exchange students from my class wished me a happy birthday, which I really appreciated. After the two hour lecture, I walked to the library to meet up with my group to discuss the presentation we have to make on Monday. Thankfully, it was mostly casual chatting and planning and not too tiring. Both of my group members also wished me a happy birthday and we took it easy.
Afterwards, I hopped on the bus and after a quick shop at Sainsbury, I returned to my room. I had bought a lunch and I sat down at my desk to eat it. When I lifted up my small water bottle, I was perplexed by how shaky my hand was. I couldn't hold it still even if I wanted to. Yikes.
I watched an episode on Netflix and then decided to take a nap and try to recharge for the plans I had for tonight. I'm still not sure if the nap was a good idea or not. I slept for two-ish hours and didn't really feel any better when I woke up.
I jumped into the shower to try and wake myself and then got ready for a Skype session with my family. It's so weird not being home and being woken by birthday song. I've never not spend my birthday morning with my family and just now writing this I realise I miss them more than I admit in my day to day life. My dog too, she was in on Skype with my parents and although she just looked around confused at the sound of my voice, it was nice to see her. My brother was sleeping and missed the Skype call, so I haven't actually seen him (in real life or on Skype) for three weeks or so. I miss that little boy.
Earlier in the day, the Facebook birthday wishes started rolling in. The girl looking after my horse while I'm away posted a cute photo of them saying they missed me but they were doing fine. I miss my horse. She probably doesn't miss me because she's still being looked after but I do miss her. When I saw that photo I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her.
I haven't cried until just right now. It's probably because writing this brings so many emotions to the surface. Emotions I've ignored because 'I'm fine' and I should be a grown-up.
After my Skype with my family, I slowly got ready for the dinner I had arranged, mind you only giving people a day's notice because I'm a horrible procrastinator. We were going to Gourmet Burger Kitchen and I was really looking forward to it.
While I was getting ready one of the five girls going to the dinner came knocking on my door, wished me happy birthday but had to decline the dinner because she wasn't feeling well. I wished for her to get well soon.
I met up with the four other girls and we walked to GBK, which was extremely crowded but I had at least been smart enough to book a table. My parents generously had offered to pay for all of us and the food was delicious. I haven't had a proper burger in forever. We even got to skip the massive queue from one of the societies, which was nice.
I had a great time with the girls and I'm happy I didn't just spend my birthday evening alone in my room. However, I did have to get back because I have a 1500 word essay due tomorrow. Talk about stress. In the span of two hours, I managed to write half of it but frankly, it's not my best work. I feel so demotivated and it's killing me. I'll have to finish it tomorrow.
My mother and grandmother are supposed to be coming to visit me on Friday but mum has been in and out of hospital lately, so maybe she can't make it. It feels horrible to think that she's been hospitalised (literally her worst nightmare) while I've been here, so far away. The way I deal with that is to try and forget it, which is not very nice but it's the only way I can deal with it.
All in all, my birthday was really nice. Probably not as wild as a 21st birthday maybe should be but it was a nice day with kind people. It's only just now, when the clock have moved past midnight, officially ending my birthday that everything seems gloomy. But I'll have to power through even though I feel like crying again.
I had an early class, so I was up by 7.30 AM. The 'happy birthday' messages from my family and friends helped to get me out of bed but I did really want to stay under the duvet. Nevertheless, I ventured out after having had a quick breakfast.
Class wasn't fun at all. We spend the first half an hour going through the assignment due in three weeks, which counts for 40 % of my grade in that class. Due to the lack of sleep, I had a hard time focussing on anything and the mention of the important assignment didn't exactly help my stress levels. This was shaping up to be a difficult day.
The three exchange students from my class wished me a happy birthday, which I really appreciated. After the two hour lecture, I walked to the library to meet up with my group to discuss the presentation we have to make on Monday. Thankfully, it was mostly casual chatting and planning and not too tiring. Both of my group members also wished me a happy birthday and we took it easy.
Afterwards, I hopped on the bus and after a quick shop at Sainsbury, I returned to my room. I had bought a lunch and I sat down at my desk to eat it. When I lifted up my small water bottle, I was perplexed by how shaky my hand was. I couldn't hold it still even if I wanted to. Yikes.
I watched an episode on Netflix and then decided to take a nap and try to recharge for the plans I had for tonight. I'm still not sure if the nap was a good idea or not. I slept for two-ish hours and didn't really feel any better when I woke up.
I jumped into the shower to try and wake myself and then got ready for a Skype session with my family. It's so weird not being home and being woken by birthday song. I've never not spend my birthday morning with my family and just now writing this I realise I miss them more than I admit in my day to day life. My dog too, she was in on Skype with my parents and although she just looked around confused at the sound of my voice, it was nice to see her. My brother was sleeping and missed the Skype call, so I haven't actually seen him (in real life or on Skype) for three weeks or so. I miss that little boy.
Earlier in the day, the Facebook birthday wishes started rolling in. The girl looking after my horse while I'm away posted a cute photo of them saying they missed me but they were doing fine. I miss my horse. She probably doesn't miss me because she's still being looked after but I do miss her. When I saw that photo I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her.
I haven't cried until just right now. It's probably because writing this brings so many emotions to the surface. Emotions I've ignored because 'I'm fine' and I should be a grown-up.
After my Skype with my family, I slowly got ready for the dinner I had arranged, mind you only giving people a day's notice because I'm a horrible procrastinator. We were going to Gourmet Burger Kitchen and I was really looking forward to it.
While I was getting ready one of the five girls going to the dinner came knocking on my door, wished me happy birthday but had to decline the dinner because she wasn't feeling well. I wished for her to get well soon.
I met up with the four other girls and we walked to GBK, which was extremely crowded but I had at least been smart enough to book a table. My parents generously had offered to pay for all of us and the food was delicious. I haven't had a proper burger in forever. We even got to skip the massive queue from one of the societies, which was nice.
I had a great time with the girls and I'm happy I didn't just spend my birthday evening alone in my room. However, I did have to get back because I have a 1500 word essay due tomorrow. Talk about stress. In the span of two hours, I managed to write half of it but frankly, it's not my best work. I feel so demotivated and it's killing me. I'll have to finish it tomorrow.
My mother and grandmother are supposed to be coming to visit me on Friday but mum has been in and out of hospital lately, so maybe she can't make it. It feels horrible to think that she's been hospitalised (literally her worst nightmare) while I've been here, so far away. The way I deal with that is to try and forget it, which is not very nice but it's the only way I can deal with it.
All in all, my birthday was really nice. Probably not as wild as a 21st birthday maybe should be but it was a nice day with kind people. It's only just now, when the clock have moved past midnight, officially ending my birthday that everything seems gloomy. But I'll have to power through even though I feel like crying again.
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