Back After a Month with New Layout
It's been exactly a month since my last blog post and that's mostly because I've found somewhat of a routine while I try to balance all these things at the same time. This post was actually supposed to be about the Spamalot musical I saw last Sunday with my family but I just need to get all of my jumbled thoughts written down first. It's been too damn long since I've had a proper good rant and I think that might be some of the reason that I've felt a bit "pent up" or "buzzed" for the last week or so.
Also one might notice that I just added a new theme to my blog. Blogger just sort of put this notification in my face and before I had thought about it too deeply, I had clicked one of the themes and changed everything? I'm not usually one for instantaneous decisions and I probably shouldn't have done it considering the HTML modifications and whatnot that I had in my old theme. Whatever, maybe it was good thing that I just clicked it.
Change shouldn't be as scary as I always make it out to be. In the long run, it doesn't matter that I click a button to change the theme of this space because all of the posts are still here. I quite like the aesthetic of this new theme that I picked, even if I have yet to play around with the colours and so on to get it to look like I want it. One thing that I'm not very keen on is the CAPITAL LETTERS in every single one of my titles. It's on purpose that I only capitalise some first letters of certain words. Hopefully, I'll either find a way to change that or just learn to live with SHOUTY titles.
Another thing that I do like about this one is that my GIFs still move, unlike some of the other theme options. I bloody adore GIFs so much that I have even considered buying and downloading Photoshop to learn how to make them. I see all these amazing creations from people on Tumblr and I can't help but want to get in on that too. I like creating stuff and lately, I've found that editing footage is quite fun too. I think it all stems back to this whole creating something, either new or reinvented. It's one of the reasons why I find HTML so fascinating too, even if I'm utterly rubbish at it.
"Being creative" is such an intangible thing but it's something that has always been present in my life and over the last couple of years, I've finally realised just how vital it is for my overall mental health too. Writing has been a passion of mine for a really long time and I've now been posting my works online for over three years. I've written novel length pieces and much shorter ones and so many of them has prompted people to respond to them in a positive way. My stories has helped other people as absurd as that seems. Especially lately after I joined another writing platform, people have been commenting to tell me that they can't wait to see what I write next. In what world is that a thing? I know it's relatively few people but just the fact that I touched one person or a dozen people is quite baffling and humbling.
I get into funks quite easily and when that happens everything suffers; university, jobs, Money, friendships and my creative endeavours. I just don't want to do anything. It goes away eventually and one of the things that always help me get back on track is writing, much like the style I'm using here. We can call it word-vomit, journalling, baring your soul or anything else. It is essentially just putting the thoughts in my head down onto the screen and by doing so I'm able to process them from the abstractness I feel in my brain.
Writing rambles like this is probably the easiest type of writing I do. I just have to sit down at a computer and there's always something that will come out, no matter how tired or demotivated I am. Academic writing is often an uphill battle but rewarding in a different way when I know I've made a good job and my brain has made a connection based on the material that wasn't apparent to me before. Writing my fictional stories is like diving into my screen and being there right beside my characters while experiencing everything that they go through. When I get swallowed up into my fiction, I can be gone for hours and everything else ceases to exists around me.
As often with these rambly posts, I don't really have a set conclusion to arrive at. I just needed to get writing this before I could write my Spamalot post and the fictional stories that I have been planning. It's currently Easter week and I've had most of week off, if you don't count one lecture and a load of university assignment writing and reading. I've been writing a lot every day. Alright maybe not "a lot" but at the very least over 2,000 words a day, which is pretty good.
I just want to get back to writing and blogging and being creative. Yesterday past 10 PM, I was feeling tired and demotivated and out of it and that hot and bothered feeling that hit me when I'm feeling slightly off. I found myself watching compilation videos of the Avenger character Hawkeye and idea that had originally sparked when I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron popped into my head again. I thought about just writing down a note because I certainly wasn't in the mood to write right now and it wouldn't be a good piece.
Sarcastically, I thought to myself: "It'll go into the writing ideas note, where ideas go to never actually get written." However, that thought made something snap inside of me and with renewed determination I sat down at my desk to write that damn idea.
Quick side note, I cleared my desk a week or so ago and I have really been enjoying using it and it helps me not be on my bed for more the majority of my day. Back to my abrupt change of mind: I sat down and just started working on this Hawkeye one shot that I had thought about because an interaction between two characters in the movie initially had touched me so much. An hour and a half and 2,800 words later, I had a neat little piece of writing that I was surprisingly happy with.
I think that just reminded me of why it's so important that I don't fall into the trap of being passive. I could have spent those one and a half hours just diving into YouTube or Netflix or reading someone else's words and while none of those things are bad - in fact I thoroughly enjoy all of them - it just reminded me that I need to be an active participant in my life. If I don't make the things in my brain, if I don't voice the opinions I have and if I don't share my perspective, no one will ever know it. What I have to say is worthy of being heard and I do well to remember that.
Also one might notice that I just added a new theme to my blog. Blogger just sort of put this notification in my face and before I had thought about it too deeply, I had clicked one of the themes and changed everything? I'm not usually one for instantaneous decisions and I probably shouldn't have done it considering the HTML modifications and whatnot that I had in my old theme. Whatever, maybe it was good thing that I just clicked it.
Change shouldn't be as scary as I always make it out to be. In the long run, it doesn't matter that I click a button to change the theme of this space because all of the posts are still here. I quite like the aesthetic of this new theme that I picked, even if I have yet to play around with the colours and so on to get it to look like I want it. One thing that I'm not very keen on is the CAPITAL LETTERS in every single one of my titles. It's on purpose that I only capitalise some first letters of certain words. Hopefully, I'll either find a way to change that or just learn to live with SHOUTY titles.
Another thing that I do like about this one is that my GIFs still move, unlike some of the other theme options. I bloody adore GIFs so much that I have even considered buying and downloading Photoshop to learn how to make them. I see all these amazing creations from people on Tumblr and I can't help but want to get in on that too. I like creating stuff and lately, I've found that editing footage is quite fun too. I think it all stems back to this whole creating something, either new or reinvented. It's one of the reasons why I find HTML so fascinating too, even if I'm utterly rubbish at it.
Found here - Looking at the coding for this blog or my Tumblr, I want to smash my head into the keyboard but I'm still intrigued.
"Being creative" is such an intangible thing but it's something that has always been present in my life and over the last couple of years, I've finally realised just how vital it is for my overall mental health too. Writing has been a passion of mine for a really long time and I've now been posting my works online for over three years. I've written novel length pieces and much shorter ones and so many of them has prompted people to respond to them in a positive way. My stories has helped other people as absurd as that seems. Especially lately after I joined another writing platform, people have been commenting to tell me that they can't wait to see what I write next. In what world is that a thing? I know it's relatively few people but just the fact that I touched one person or a dozen people is quite baffling and humbling.
I get into funks quite easily and when that happens everything suffers; university, jobs, Money, friendships and my creative endeavours. I just don't want to do anything. It goes away eventually and one of the things that always help me get back on track is writing, much like the style I'm using here. We can call it word-vomit, journalling, baring your soul or anything else. It is essentially just putting the thoughts in my head down onto the screen and by doing so I'm able to process them from the abstractness I feel in my brain.
Writing rambles like this is probably the easiest type of writing I do. I just have to sit down at a computer and there's always something that will come out, no matter how tired or demotivated I am. Academic writing is often an uphill battle but rewarding in a different way when I know I've made a good job and my brain has made a connection based on the material that wasn't apparent to me before. Writing my fictional stories is like diving into my screen and being there right beside my characters while experiencing everything that they go through. When I get swallowed up into my fiction, I can be gone for hours and everything else ceases to exists around me.
As often with these rambly posts, I don't really have a set conclusion to arrive at. I just needed to get writing this before I could write my Spamalot post and the fictional stories that I have been planning. It's currently Easter week and I've had most of week off, if you don't count one lecture and a load of university assignment writing and reading. I've been writing a lot every day. Alright maybe not "a lot" but at the very least over 2,000 words a day, which is pretty good.
I just want to get back to writing and blogging and being creative. Yesterday past 10 PM, I was feeling tired and demotivated and out of it and that hot and bothered feeling that hit me when I'm feeling slightly off. I found myself watching compilation videos of the Avenger character Hawkeye and idea that had originally sparked when I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron popped into my head again. I thought about just writing down a note because I certainly wasn't in the mood to write right now and it wouldn't be a good piece.
Sarcastically, I thought to myself: "It'll go into the writing ideas note, where ideas go to never actually get written." However, that thought made something snap inside of me and with renewed determination I sat down at my desk to write that damn idea.
Found here - I couldn't help but laugh when I found this. I made a joke at my own expense but I also defended myself? Honestly, I'm a mess.
Quick side note, I cleared my desk a week or so ago and I have really been enjoying using it and it helps me not be on my bed for more the majority of my day. Back to my abrupt change of mind: I sat down and just started working on this Hawkeye one shot that I had thought about because an interaction between two characters in the movie initially had touched me so much. An hour and a half and 2,800 words later, I had a neat little piece of writing that I was surprisingly happy with.
I think that just reminded me of why it's so important that I don't fall into the trap of being passive. I could have spent those one and a half hours just diving into YouTube or Netflix or reading someone else's words and while none of those things are bad - in fact I thoroughly enjoy all of them - it just reminded me that I need to be an active participant in my life. If I don't make the things in my brain, if I don't voice the opinions I have and if I don't share my perspective, no one will ever know it. What I have to say is worthy of being heard and I do well to remember that.
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