Finding and Appreciating the Quiet Moments
I arrived home from a twelve day holiday just this morning. I love travelling with my family but being together with three other people, no matter how well I know them or how dearly I love them, always take a toll on me. And it always hit me harder than I think it will. Yet, I find myself wanting to push through it every single time, going on holidays to enjoy different cultures and bonding with loved ones. I think it's good for me but I need a recuperation period afterwards.
The intro to this blog post could very well have been much like the one immediately before this, where I was sitting in a hostel in Iceland, running on very little sleep. However, something is majorly different from then, even if the lack of proper sleep remains the same. I'm home now, I'm safe and I've retracted to my room where I've been left alone for the time being. I should probably have taken a nap but to be honest, the YouTube videos I held off on while on holiday was beaconing me as the knowledge that my horse now only was a short drive away. Hence, I'm running on roughly two hours sleep at the moment with an internal clock set to late afternoon.
I think it's important for me to word this post and that's why I'm spending the limited potion of energy that I have left to write something out rather than collapsing into bed and snoozing for twelve hours. I have things to watch, things to write, thoughts to finally dwell on and it's all things I've kept pushing off because I haven't had the space to do it. I do now, so I can deal with a little fatigue. I'll be sleeping soon enough - my body will force me to curl up and sleep at some point. It's running hot at the moment and with the pain in my shoulders and tension in my whole body, a girl can only hold out for so long. But I am stubborn so I will finish this post and shower before giving into the sweet call of sleep.
On holidays with my family, I always seem to have these moments where I just feel completely at ease. We do a lot of walking around in either cities, parks or sometimes along the sea, and it's always at these moments that something feels like it tugs in my strings and elevate me for a moment. Perhaps, it's because it's in those rare moments that I get the breathing room I can so desperately long for but not realise until I have it. It's the same quiet peace of mind I get when I'm with Money, either spending time with her from the ground or deep in concentration for dressage practice. It's something I feel when I write too as if those two things make the world stop spinning around me so fast and just let me focus on the task at hand. I empty my mind from everything else.
It happened three times noticeably during this twelve day holiday and oddly, one place at each of the three main locations we went to. I'll kick my arse to actually make proper travel posts for the holiday but for now, I'll dwell on these three moments.
The first was in Boston on the very first day that we arrived. We'd been travelling for quite a while, time zones granting us another big chunk to the day. Turning the late afternoon/early evening we took a walk through Boston Common and then continued to the bay. Honestly, there's something about parks that just makes me want to smile, especially the public ones that are so clearly loved by so many people for so many different reasons; children play on the swings, young lovers have picnics, dog owners play fetch with their beloved pets, joggers and cyclists exercise with more perceived ease, old couples take a stroll hand in hand and so much more. It's a sign of life and it just makes me so happy. Everyone is off doing their thing in a corner and there's plenty of room for everything and everyone.
I'm the girl who walks around seemingly in a daze, phone snapping away a third of the time and peacefully glancing around with a goofy grin the rest of the time. Over the years of travelling with my parents and little brother, a pattern has formed that we almost automatically revert into when walking somewhere. My father is up front, probably trying to figure out where we're going with help of maps on his phone. My mother and brother walk side by side, chatting about anything and everything. I hang back, not content to be rushed onwards when I'm in a calm and observing mood. I stop to take photos, which I know can infuriate my family members but it's a way for me to remember. If I'm not stopping to focus my camera on something, I usually stroll casually taking in the feeling of a particularly lovely place.
The second place actually came as a bit of a surprise to me because it was very crowded with people, which usually isn't really my cup of tea. It might be the rush of water though. Niagara Falls is breathtaking if you let it and even a huge swam of tourists can't take that away. It would look like something out of a fairytale if not for the many hotels and tourists. Even so, it's a huge waterfall and strolling down the length of it gave me that calm feeling as well and an itch to try at least somewhat decently capture the beauty. Occasionally, mist would be filling the air, settling lightly on your skin and clothes and giving a lovely chilling effect on a hot day. For someone, who thought of the wind as an imaginary friend when she was younger, it almost feels like a reassuring hug from an old friend.
It can be a difficult balance to have something so natural and beautiful swamped with tourists but for me, it didn't take away from the beauty like it has in other places. It could very well be the fact that Niagara Falls is still so far out of touch, majestic and untouchable, and only viable at a distance. As always, I was falling back as the other three kept a much quicker pace. However, I don't mind the separation most of the time. It gives me space to think and just be without having to carry a conversation.
The third place didn't really come as a surprise at all. It was in the open fields of Iceland, riding a wonderful Icelandic horse I immediately bonded with and no useless chatter from our small five person group. As I mentioned above, riding always has had a way to calm and focus me. It might be the rhythmic movement under me or the pure and constant rush of contentment I get from being near animals or just the fact that I take on a leader role to deal with horses and all other things have to fade away for me to pay full attention. The nature near Reykjavik is pretty and so, so open. It's nothing but paths amongst old rocks and ash, which have since been covered by moss, and a mountain or volcano at the horizon. The ride made me feel free and just happy. At that point I had been without proper animal contact for eight days, which probably doesn't sound like much but when you live with a dog and have a horse you visit most days, it's an odd sensation to be without the reassurance that only animals can provide.
I was off on my own with four strangers but I didn't mind one bit. I had Harri, a gorgeous and energetic gelding, as my partner in crime and that was more than enough. The moment I got onto him, we became an equipage and had to work together. Obviously, it was nowhere near what I have with Money but it was the very beginning of building a trust between us.
My hands are struggling with typing correctly, so I'll draw the post to a conclusion here. I'm happy this holiday reminded me that I'm able to find quiet moment wherever I am. It's the thing that keeps me sane during extended periods of social interaction. Pulling away slightly to just check in with yourself is so important for someone like me, which was why I made it a point to go sit with Money for a while today before taking her to the stable and jumping on her bare back to have a quick walk together. And now I've also poured out thoughts that have been brewing for a while. It's nice that I pushed myself to get them "on paper".
The intro to this blog post could very well have been much like the one immediately before this, where I was sitting in a hostel in Iceland, running on very little sleep. However, something is majorly different from then, even if the lack of proper sleep remains the same. I'm home now, I'm safe and I've retracted to my room where I've been left alone for the time being. I should probably have taken a nap but to be honest, the YouTube videos I held off on while on holiday was beaconing me as the knowledge that my horse now only was a short drive away. Hence, I'm running on roughly two hours sleep at the moment with an internal clock set to late afternoon.
I think it's important for me to word this post and that's why I'm spending the limited potion of energy that I have left to write something out rather than collapsing into bed and snoozing for twelve hours. I have things to watch, things to write, thoughts to finally dwell on and it's all things I've kept pushing off because I haven't had the space to do it. I do now, so I can deal with a little fatigue. I'll be sleeping soon enough - my body will force me to curl up and sleep at some point. It's running hot at the moment and with the pain in my shoulders and tension in my whole body, a girl can only hold out for so long. But I am stubborn so I will finish this post and shower before giving into the sweet call of sleep.
On holidays with my family, I always seem to have these moments where I just feel completely at ease. We do a lot of walking around in either cities, parks or sometimes along the sea, and it's always at these moments that something feels like it tugs in my strings and elevate me for a moment. Perhaps, it's because it's in those rare moments that I get the breathing room I can so desperately long for but not realise until I have it. It's the same quiet peace of mind I get when I'm with Money, either spending time with her from the ground or deep in concentration for dressage practice. It's something I feel when I write too as if those two things make the world stop spinning around me so fast and just let me focus on the task at hand. I empty my mind from everything else.
Chilling out in the field, just watching her graze, always force my mind to settle down and shut off for a little while
It happened three times noticeably during this twelve day holiday and oddly, one place at each of the three main locations we went to. I'll kick my arse to actually make proper travel posts for the holiday but for now, I'll dwell on these three moments.
The first was in Boston on the very first day that we arrived. We'd been travelling for quite a while, time zones granting us another big chunk to the day. Turning the late afternoon/early evening we took a walk through Boston Common and then continued to the bay. Honestly, there's something about parks that just makes me want to smile, especially the public ones that are so clearly loved by so many people for so many different reasons; children play on the swings, young lovers have picnics, dog owners play fetch with their beloved pets, joggers and cyclists exercise with more perceived ease, old couples take a stroll hand in hand and so much more. It's a sign of life and it just makes me so happy. Everyone is off doing their thing in a corner and there's plenty of room for everything and everyone.
I'm the girl who walks around seemingly in a daze, phone snapping away a third of the time and peacefully glancing around with a goofy grin the rest of the time. Over the years of travelling with my parents and little brother, a pattern has formed that we almost automatically revert into when walking somewhere. My father is up front, probably trying to figure out where we're going with help of maps on his phone. My mother and brother walk side by side, chatting about anything and everything. I hang back, not content to be rushed onwards when I'm in a calm and observing mood. I stop to take photos, which I know can infuriate my family members but it's a way for me to remember. If I'm not stopping to focus my camera on something, I usually stroll casually taking in the feeling of a particularly lovely place.
The second place actually came as a bit of a surprise to me because it was very crowded with people, which usually isn't really my cup of tea. It might be the rush of water though. Niagara Falls is breathtaking if you let it and even a huge swam of tourists can't take that away. It would look like something out of a fairytale if not for the many hotels and tourists. Even so, it's a huge waterfall and strolling down the length of it gave me that calm feeling as well and an itch to try at least somewhat decently capture the beauty. Occasionally, mist would be filling the air, settling lightly on your skin and clothes and giving a lovely chilling effect on a hot day. For someone, who thought of the wind as an imaginary friend when she was younger, it almost feels like a reassuring hug from an old friend.
It can be a difficult balance to have something so natural and beautiful swamped with tourists but for me, it didn't take away from the beauty like it has in other places. It could very well be the fact that Niagara Falls is still so far out of touch, majestic and untouchable, and only viable at a distance. As always, I was falling back as the other three kept a much quicker pace. However, I don't mind the separation most of the time. It gives me space to think and just be without having to carry a conversation.
The third place didn't really come as a surprise at all. It was in the open fields of Iceland, riding a wonderful Icelandic horse I immediately bonded with and no useless chatter from our small five person group. As I mentioned above, riding always has had a way to calm and focus me. It might be the rhythmic movement under me or the pure and constant rush of contentment I get from being near animals or just the fact that I take on a leader role to deal with horses and all other things have to fade away for me to pay full attention. The nature near Reykjavik is pretty and so, so open. It's nothing but paths amongst old rocks and ash, which have since been covered by moss, and a mountain or volcano at the horizon. The ride made me feel free and just happy. At that point I had been without proper animal contact for eight days, which probably doesn't sound like much but when you live with a dog and have a horse you visit most days, it's an odd sensation to be without the reassurance that only animals can provide.
I was off on my own with four strangers but I didn't mind one bit. I had Harri, a gorgeous and energetic gelding, as my partner in crime and that was more than enough. The moment I got onto him, we became an equipage and had to work together. Obviously, it was nowhere near what I have with Money but it was the very beginning of building a trust between us.
My hands are struggling with typing correctly, so I'll draw the post to a conclusion here. I'm happy this holiday reminded me that I'm able to find quiet moment wherever I am. It's the thing that keeps me sane during extended periods of social interaction. Pulling away slightly to just check in with yourself is so important for someone like me, which was why I made it a point to go sit with Money for a while today before taking her to the stable and jumping on her bare back to have a quick walk together. And now I've also poured out thoughts that have been brewing for a while. It's nice that I pushed myself to get them "on paper".
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