I Finally Moved In
It's been a bloody long time coming but it finally happened. Is happening. I'm here. In my new flat. My first permanent home away from my parents' home. I live here by myself. All the things are mine. I call all of the shots. I have all of the responsibility as well. I have my own home.
I don't think it has properly sunk in yet. It probably should have since I have known I would have this flat since mid-December and I've officially had access to it since February. But it took forever for the bathroom to get done and I had to wait for some pieces of furniture and this has generally just been a busy month, so it kept getting pushed back.
But March is here and I'm in the flat. My flat. Yep, it's still surreal. Exciting. Scary. Cool. Intimidating. Odd. Foreign. Unusual. Promising. Basically, it's a lot of things rolled into one. I could probably go off and keep listing adjectives but I think no one would want a whole post of just that. I think even I would tire of that, even as I grapple to properly define the emotions running through my body at the moment.
Yesterday was another of those long days getting everything sorted in the flat but it was finally moving onto more of the finishing touches. The last lights got installed - bless Dad for helping with that, even if he did continue to cut open his fingers every five minutes - and the all of the books got unpacked and moved into the shelving unit. Mum was also there to help unpack and reorganise some bits and I finally felt like this place was a bit more of a home and less of a place where we went on the weekend to move furniture around.
Mum said I would start to feel more attached to the place when my stuff - my old stuff, not my new pieces of furniture - would be unpacked and be placed around the flat. She was incredibly correct. It makes a massive difference to see my stuff everywhere I turn, especially since I'm so emotionally connected to stuff and places.
Not everything is in their final spots yet and there's still stuff like the toilet cabinet that needs to go up, screws for two of my dining chairs are missing and I want to buy plants to have around the flat but a lot of the main things have been situated around the place. There's still one final moving box sitting with some items that have yet to find a home but that will happen in due time. A lot of the clutter has also been removed and that's freaking liberating.
There has been so many boxes of cardboard, from the moving boxes with my stuff which have been standing around forever and all the boxes that furniture came with. Most of it is out of my flat now. And another thing that really helped was getting almost all of the lights sorted. Light matters so much and thankfully, this little space gets so much light during the day but sitting here now when it's black outside, I'm loving all the little light sources.
Today has been a long day and slightly traumatic too. Last Friday, I skidded out on the snow with my scooter, nicknamed Bastian, and got a very nasty collection of bruises. Today I was driving to university while snow was freshly fallen and there was icy on the road and I took not one but two more skids out. And this time I managed to nip off a bit of one of the break handles and crack one of the side mirrors. I also double/tripled my collection of bruises and bumped my shoulder rather awkwardly. I'm aware I'm still lucky more didn't happen but it was not the best start to the day where I would officially be moving out.
One thing that did help a little later on, when I carefully drove from one of the university buildings to another, was to see students and faculty having a snowball fight and building a snowman. It was such a nice little moment and though I still felt like cursing the snow to Siberia, it made me pause and just watch for a quick moment. I made me want to join in, and it also made me remember to never let myself grow too old for stuff like that or hold onto the prissiness for too long. So I made my peace with the snow, even if I still desperately wish for spring to warm everything up a bit. I also opted to leave the scooter behind in the bicycle basement parking and take the metro to my flat. It's thankfully "just" a 600-ish walk from the metro stop nearest to my flat.
Walking into the hall after checking the mailbox, I got a call from Mum who had just finished at work and wanted to drop by for a cuppa. I think she had gathered I felt a bit down about the whole crashing on the scooter and getting hurt again and it was honestly so nice to see her. Dad also gathered up the things I had left at home in the morning and brought them out to the flat, so I would have my duvet and toilettes and not to forget my trusted plushie Milalik. I feel like he'll be a very important snuggle companion tonight seeing as I won't have my actual dog to do that. I miss her already.
In true fashion, Mum made sure Dad hang up the shower curtain and she went with me on a little shopping trip to the local grocery shop (basically right outside of the door) to make sure I had some food in the morning. I would probably have survived without it but it's such a nice thing. It was so good to have them over for a couple of hours and I definitely need to either invite my family over or just make sure to go home quite regularly because I'm going to miss having them just a door down after having shared a home with them almost all of my life.
And there came the stinging in my eyes. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I don't actually need to cry though, because my family is wonderful and they're not that far away and this in a natural step. It's also a step I have been postponing for a while until I felt like I was ready for it. I am ready for it now, even if it's still a massive step. Mum also sent a goodnight message, and Dad is sending me the usual screenshots of things he finds that he thinks I might like or could use for the flat. It's comforting because he would do that when I was home up in my room as well and Mum would usually say goodnight before snoozing. They're still here, even if we have a few kilometre between us.
I guess being busy has its advantages here. When the parents left, I pottered around for about half an hour before having to sit down and read for tomorrow's lecture. There's also a meeting with our supervisor for the Project that I'll have to prepare for at some point before 10 AM tomorrow. The wheels keep turning. It might be favourable at the moment to keep my head spinning and not allow me too much pause.
I know the homesick feeling hit me on exchange about four weeks in but this experience will be different. I still have my university, which I have grown even more attached to and fond of lately, I'll still see my friends and family and I still have Money to visit and train with. I have all of these things that make me feel at home and I'm sitting in a cosy space that I like so much with all of my stuff. This can definitely turn into a home but the only way to do that is to spend time here and make it my home.
It's not something that happens magically. It will only happen gradually but tonight is one big step for it becoming my home. It's an exciting thing. I hope I'll get a good night's sleep here and my bruises and sore shoulder won't keep me up. There's also the fact that my fridge is still gurgling. At the moment, I find the noises almost comforting but we'll see if I still feel like that in the morning. I'm off to watch some stuff to wind down and then sleep for the first time in my new flat.
I don't think it has properly sunk in yet. It probably should have since I have known I would have this flat since mid-December and I've officially had access to it since February. But it took forever for the bathroom to get done and I had to wait for some pieces of furniture and this has generally just been a busy month, so it kept getting pushed back.
But March is here and I'm in the flat. My flat. Yep, it's still surreal. Exciting. Scary. Cool. Intimidating. Odd. Foreign. Unusual. Promising. Basically, it's a lot of things rolled into one. I could probably go off and keep listing adjectives but I think no one would want a whole post of just that. I think even I would tire of that, even as I grapple to properly define the emotions running through my body at the moment.
Yesterday was another of those long days getting everything sorted in the flat but it was finally moving onto more of the finishing touches. The last lights got installed - bless Dad for helping with that, even if he did continue to cut open his fingers every five minutes - and the all of the books got unpacked and moved into the shelving unit. Mum was also there to help unpack and reorganise some bits and I finally felt like this place was a bit more of a home and less of a place where we went on the weekend to move furniture around.
Mum said I would start to feel more attached to the place when my stuff - my old stuff, not my new pieces of furniture - would be unpacked and be placed around the flat. She was incredibly correct. It makes a massive difference to see my stuff everywhere I turn, especially since I'm so emotionally connected to stuff and places.
Not everything is in their final spots yet and there's still stuff like the toilet cabinet that needs to go up, screws for two of my dining chairs are missing and I want to buy plants to have around the flat but a lot of the main things have been situated around the place. There's still one final moving box sitting with some items that have yet to find a home but that will happen in due time. A lot of the clutter has also been removed and that's freaking liberating.
There has been so many boxes of cardboard, from the moving boxes with my stuff which have been standing around forever and all the boxes that furniture came with. Most of it is out of my flat now. And another thing that really helped was getting almost all of the lights sorted. Light matters so much and thankfully, this little space gets so much light during the day but sitting here now when it's black outside, I'm loving all the little light sources.
Today has been a long day and slightly traumatic too. Last Friday, I skidded out on the snow with my scooter, nicknamed Bastian, and got a very nasty collection of bruises. Today I was driving to university while snow was freshly fallen and there was icy on the road and I took not one but two more skids out. And this time I managed to nip off a bit of one of the break handles and crack one of the side mirrors. I also double/tripled my collection of bruises and bumped my shoulder rather awkwardly. I'm aware I'm still lucky more didn't happen but it was not the best start to the day where I would officially be moving out.
One thing that did help a little later on, when I carefully drove from one of the university buildings to another, was to see students and faculty having a snowball fight and building a snowman. It was such a nice little moment and though I still felt like cursing the snow to Siberia, it made me pause and just watch for a quick moment. I made me want to join in, and it also made me remember to never let myself grow too old for stuff like that or hold onto the prissiness for too long. So I made my peace with the snow, even if I still desperately wish for spring to warm everything up a bit. I also opted to leave the scooter behind in the bicycle basement parking and take the metro to my flat. It's thankfully "just" a 600-ish walk from the metro stop nearest to my flat.
Walking into the hall after checking the mailbox, I got a call from Mum who had just finished at work and wanted to drop by for a cuppa. I think she had gathered I felt a bit down about the whole crashing on the scooter and getting hurt again and it was honestly so nice to see her. Dad also gathered up the things I had left at home in the morning and brought them out to the flat, so I would have my duvet and toilettes and not to forget my trusted plushie Milalik. I feel like he'll be a very important snuggle companion tonight seeing as I won't have my actual dog to do that. I miss her already.
In true fashion, Mum made sure Dad hang up the shower curtain and she went with me on a little shopping trip to the local grocery shop (basically right outside of the door) to make sure I had some food in the morning. I would probably have survived without it but it's such a nice thing. It was so good to have them over for a couple of hours and I definitely need to either invite my family over or just make sure to go home quite regularly because I'm going to miss having them just a door down after having shared a home with them almost all of my life.
And there came the stinging in my eyes. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I don't actually need to cry though, because my family is wonderful and they're not that far away and this in a natural step. It's also a step I have been postponing for a while until I felt like I was ready for it. I am ready for it now, even if it's still a massive step. Mum also sent a goodnight message, and Dad is sending me the usual screenshots of things he finds that he thinks I might like or could use for the flat. It's comforting because he would do that when I was home up in my room as well and Mum would usually say goodnight before snoozing. They're still here, even if we have a few kilometre between us.
I guess being busy has its advantages here. When the parents left, I pottered around for about half an hour before having to sit down and read for tomorrow's lecture. There's also a meeting with our supervisor for the Project that I'll have to prepare for at some point before 10 AM tomorrow. The wheels keep turning. It might be favourable at the moment to keep my head spinning and not allow me too much pause.
I know the homesick feeling hit me on exchange about four weeks in but this experience will be different. I still have my university, which I have grown even more attached to and fond of lately, I'll still see my friends and family and I still have Money to visit and train with. I have all of these things that make me feel at home and I'm sitting in a cosy space that I like so much with all of my stuff. This can definitely turn into a home but the only way to do that is to spend time here and make it my home.
It's not something that happens magically. It will only happen gradually but tonight is one big step for it becoming my home. It's an exciting thing. I hope I'll get a good night's sleep here and my bruises and sore shoulder won't keep me up. There's also the fact that my fridge is still gurgling. At the moment, I find the noises almost comforting but we'll see if I still feel like that in the morning. I'm off to watch some stuff to wind down and then sleep for the first time in my new flat.
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