Back and Active on Social Media | Challenge Completed
Today as we enter into June, my self-imposed social media (sort of) hiatus has officially ended! I was unsure if I would be able to do it at first but after a week's time, it became my new normal and I liked having a less cluttered phone. That being said, I am happy to be "back" online and interacting with my Internet pals again. I have spent a significant portion of the day scrolling through my social media and catching up on what I have missed in the past month. It has been awesome.
I said I would not scroll through my social media in May, I said I would not post anything and I turned off all my notifications on my phone and laptop. Since I am a stubborn person, I stuck by that challenge diligently, even if I sometimes wanted to break the hiatus. It is difficult when you're used to having so much to check up on. It was liberating in a way but at the same time, I also felt a little to detached from reality at times. I missed seeing what my friends or my favourite creators were up to by what they shared on social media.
I also discovered that you find other ways to procrastinate. I cannot tell you how many times I have opened my bank app "just to check" because the itch to scroll was so damn strong within me. Granted, you don't really scroll very far down your list of expenses but I was reminded that you will always find a way to procrastinate and waste time on your phone. Social media just make it easier but there will always be something to hold your attention if you're looking for it. However, I still think it was beneficial to take a step back and remind myself not to do it so much.
Once May was officially over and we entered into June, which is also Pride Month, I went into my settings and turned back on notifications, which instantly meant that several of those pesky red numbers appeared in the corner of my social media apps. But rather than overwhelmed or annoyed, I felt excitement to check out some of the things that I had missed in my inactivity. I had no hope of scrolling back a whole month, but I surprisingly did not feel the familiar pang of fear of missing out that I thought I would. I have missed some posts and content but that is perfectly okay. I do not need to know everything, which is a feeling that I am proud of since I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive over stuff like this.
The social media space that I missed the most was definitely tumblr. It is not even a competition for the other apps. I don't know what it is about the blogging site but I just love the dashboard timeline that I have created by the many wonderful people that I follow who share my interests or sense of humour. Even more amazingly, quite a few of those people follow me too and that makes us online friends, in a way at least. I am still baffled by the amount of people who follow my little blog on there to be honest. It's just a very supportive community and fandom space and I think it's such an incredible thing that you can literally just find someone potentially across the globe and start chatting to them because you are both interested in the same thing. I also learn a lot of interesting things by stuff that gets reblogged onto my dash.
Another thing that I missed was my engagement with the people who read my stories. I had nearly 60 comments sitting in my AO3 inbox and a few messages on tumblr from my readers. I had a blast going through them and replying to the very nice people who liked my writing and stories enough to take the time to type it out. I just feeling so humbled and honoured by their kind words of praise and encouragement. Before I started posting, I had never really considered how the Internet could enable me to get my writing out to people, even if it is "just" online posting. Also, I feel very lucky that the bunch of people who find my stuff always are so freaking nice about it, even when they have criticism.
I dropped out of Snapchat as well, which I only really use with a handful of close friends. But it was something to go through the snaps that my friends sent me through the month and it made me very happy for some reason. I specifically told them to keep sending snaps because I wanted to see them when I opened the app in June. I missed sending photos of what I was doing to my friends instead of just text messages, so I am happy to be back on that one again. Some of the filters seem to have gone a bit insane while I was away but I suppose that was to be expected? Some of them are quite funny, so that makes up for the weird ones.
Instagram was another one I stayed away from with the exception of two nerds' stories while they were on tour, which I checked in on once a day. I go through phases of actually using Instagram myself and I haven't necessarily missed posting since I was out of groove with it when my hiatus started but I want to get back into it again because I think it is a fun way to document small snippets of your day. I also just enjoy seeing amazing photography and cute animals and I seriously need to follow more photographers on the platform because I get so happy by aesthetic photos.
Several times throughout the month, I found myself clicking into the Twitter app to "scroll procrastinate" and then I panicked clicked out of it every time I realised. I mostly use it to follow people from the online creator world and it is one of those social media apps that I just waste time on without every really posting anything myself. I think I might try to keep myself in check about checking that one every other hour just to see a few tweets because I don't want to miss anything. It's okay if I miss something. I probably missed a whole lot of things this month but I am fine with that. I should probably also actually use the space for something rather than just being a quiet follower.
Since LinkedIn things insist on coming through on email, I did see a couple of things throughout the month on that platform. It was mostly that I had appeared in searches or people had visited my profile, which has little interest to me as of right now. I know I should start to get into that social media because it can be an incredible business and network tool but I still feel very unfamiliar with it and how I should actually use it while I'm still a student.
Now YouTube... yeah, nothing really changed for me with that platform. I still used it loads, even if turning off notifications meant I didn't know when a new video was posted by my favourites. However, I was usually on it in the evenings as a habit and I noticed when the videos came in, unless I was working on something. I also have a growing fondness for watching long story-driven lets plays by an certain Irish guy, so I have no doubt that I objectively spent too much time on YouTube during my hiatus.
And that brings me somewhat full circle back to this particular space: my beloved blog, which has been an outlet for me to just ramble. I have used it less for that lately with my daily "diary" entries, which take the edge of that documenting my life and pouring my thoughts out onto the digital page. But I still love blogging as a concept, even if I have been toying with a slightly terrifying idea this month. Earlier this year, I reserved blogs on Blogspot and Wordpress with my name because I thought I might want to use my own name for my blog and actually let people know that I write stuff. Only, it probably would have a bit of the rambling stripped away and I would attempt to sound more coherent. I think it might be a cool project to embark on when exams have finished.
This blog is turning 4 years old this June. Four fucking years. I don't know how that is quite possible. I feel like the time has flown by since I was just a young bachelor student who thought it might be cool to make a blog, even if no one would ever read it. Not a lot of people do read this. My mother does after I told her about it, even if I have a feeling she has forgotten about it recently due to her hectic work schedule. A few of my tumblr readers click through to the link on occasion but mostly this space has been entirely for me. It is a public blog but it has some very personal stories on it. I have blogged about my anxiety attacks that have left me sobbing and unsure, the hopelessness that sometimes feel like it might consume me and the worry that I might not be able to accomplish what I want and on top of that being unclear about what I actually want. But I have also shared my love for the things I am passionate about, I have recounted holidays and other special events and I have gushed about my love for my friends, family and pets. I have felt very fortunate to have created this space but I think I might want to actually share what I write with the people who I know in real life. I want to put my name on it (I think).
Because of the history on this blog, I almost feel too vulnerable to show people, who know me, all of these thoughts, as they can be very messy. I want to show a more polished version of my thoughts instead of what I might just wing on the day and post. But at the same time, I don't want to take away the honesty and sense of myself. I don't expect people to necessarily care about my life or what I want to write posts about but I want to give them the opportunity to see it. If I am serious about doing something with writing professionally, I need to want people to know that those are my words. How would they have a clue if I didn't tell them?
However, this is not what this post is about. But perhaps these thoughts resurfaced because of my hiatus? I think they might have because I allowed myself a break from posting online to figure out what I actually want to be posting online. What do I want to say? What do I want to write? What do I want to photograph? What do I want to share? Who do I want to see what I post? All these are valid questions. I don't have the answers to them yet; not concrete ones anyway. I just know that I want to write the things that I enjoy writing and if I am proud of something, then I shouldn't be scared to share it. I'm not saying I'll start spamming all my Facebook friends with fanfics - fuck no. But to create blog posts under my real name and try out a more considerate and contemplative way of writing posts? That might be a cool thing.
I said I would not scroll through my social media in May, I said I would not post anything and I turned off all my notifications on my phone and laptop. Since I am a stubborn person, I stuck by that challenge diligently, even if I sometimes wanted to break the hiatus. It is difficult when you're used to having so much to check up on. It was liberating in a way but at the same time, I also felt a little to detached from reality at times. I missed seeing what my friends or my favourite creators were up to by what they shared on social media.
I also discovered that you find other ways to procrastinate. I cannot tell you how many times I have opened my bank app "just to check" because the itch to scroll was so damn strong within me. Granted, you don't really scroll very far down your list of expenses but I was reminded that you will always find a way to procrastinate and waste time on your phone. Social media just make it easier but there will always be something to hold your attention if you're looking for it. However, I still think it was beneficial to take a step back and remind myself not to do it so much.
Once May was officially over and we entered into June, which is also Pride Month, I went into my settings and turned back on notifications, which instantly meant that several of those pesky red numbers appeared in the corner of my social media apps. But rather than overwhelmed or annoyed, I felt excitement to check out some of the things that I had missed in my inactivity. I had no hope of scrolling back a whole month, but I surprisingly did not feel the familiar pang of fear of missing out that I thought I would. I have missed some posts and content but that is perfectly okay. I do not need to know everything, which is a feeling that I am proud of since I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive over stuff like this.
The social media space that I missed the most was definitely tumblr. It is not even a competition for the other apps. I don't know what it is about the blogging site but I just love the dashboard timeline that I have created by the many wonderful people that I follow who share my interests or sense of humour. Even more amazingly, quite a few of those people follow me too and that makes us online friends, in a way at least. I am still baffled by the amount of people who follow my little blog on there to be honest. It's just a very supportive community and fandom space and I think it's such an incredible thing that you can literally just find someone potentially across the globe and start chatting to them because you are both interested in the same thing. I also learn a lot of interesting things by stuff that gets reblogged onto my dash.
Another thing that I missed was my engagement with the people who read my stories. I had nearly 60 comments sitting in my AO3 inbox and a few messages on tumblr from my readers. I had a blast going through them and replying to the very nice people who liked my writing and stories enough to take the time to type it out. I just feeling so humbled and honoured by their kind words of praise and encouragement. Before I started posting, I had never really considered how the Internet could enable me to get my writing out to people, even if it is "just" online posting. Also, I feel very lucky that the bunch of people who find my stuff always are so freaking nice about it, even when they have criticism.
I dropped out of Snapchat as well, which I only really use with a handful of close friends. But it was something to go through the snaps that my friends sent me through the month and it made me very happy for some reason. I specifically told them to keep sending snaps because I wanted to see them when I opened the app in June. I missed sending photos of what I was doing to my friends instead of just text messages, so I am happy to be back on that one again. Some of the filters seem to have gone a bit insane while I was away but I suppose that was to be expected? Some of them are quite funny, so that makes up for the weird ones.
Instagram was another one I stayed away from with the exception of two nerds' stories while they were on tour, which I checked in on once a day. I go through phases of actually using Instagram myself and I haven't necessarily missed posting since I was out of groove with it when my hiatus started but I want to get back into it again because I think it is a fun way to document small snippets of your day. I also just enjoy seeing amazing photography and cute animals and I seriously need to follow more photographers on the platform because I get so happy by aesthetic photos.
Several times throughout the month, I found myself clicking into the Twitter app to "scroll procrastinate" and then I panicked clicked out of it every time I realised. I mostly use it to follow people from the online creator world and it is one of those social media apps that I just waste time on without every really posting anything myself. I think I might try to keep myself in check about checking that one every other hour just to see a few tweets because I don't want to miss anything. It's okay if I miss something. I probably missed a whole lot of things this month but I am fine with that. I should probably also actually use the space for something rather than just being a quiet follower.
Since LinkedIn things insist on coming through on email, I did see a couple of things throughout the month on that platform. It was mostly that I had appeared in searches or people had visited my profile, which has little interest to me as of right now. I know I should start to get into that social media because it can be an incredible business and network tool but I still feel very unfamiliar with it and how I should actually use it while I'm still a student.
Now YouTube... yeah, nothing really changed for me with that platform. I still used it loads, even if turning off notifications meant I didn't know when a new video was posted by my favourites. However, I was usually on it in the evenings as a habit and I noticed when the videos came in, unless I was working on something. I also have a growing fondness for watching long story-driven lets plays by an certain Irish guy, so I have no doubt that I objectively spent too much time on YouTube during my hiatus.
And that brings me somewhat full circle back to this particular space: my beloved blog, which has been an outlet for me to just ramble. I have used it less for that lately with my daily "diary" entries, which take the edge of that documenting my life and pouring my thoughts out onto the digital page. But I still love blogging as a concept, even if I have been toying with a slightly terrifying idea this month. Earlier this year, I reserved blogs on Blogspot and Wordpress with my name because I thought I might want to use my own name for my blog and actually let people know that I write stuff. Only, it probably would have a bit of the rambling stripped away and I would attempt to sound more coherent. I think it might be a cool project to embark on when exams have finished.
This blog is turning 4 years old this June. Four fucking years. I don't know how that is quite possible. I feel like the time has flown by since I was just a young bachelor student who thought it might be cool to make a blog, even if no one would ever read it. Not a lot of people do read this. My mother does after I told her about it, even if I have a feeling she has forgotten about it recently due to her hectic work schedule. A few of my tumblr readers click through to the link on occasion but mostly this space has been entirely for me. It is a public blog but it has some very personal stories on it. I have blogged about my anxiety attacks that have left me sobbing and unsure, the hopelessness that sometimes feel like it might consume me and the worry that I might not be able to accomplish what I want and on top of that being unclear about what I actually want. But I have also shared my love for the things I am passionate about, I have recounted holidays and other special events and I have gushed about my love for my friends, family and pets. I have felt very fortunate to have created this space but I think I might want to actually share what I write with the people who I know in real life. I want to put my name on it (I think).
Because of the history on this blog, I almost feel too vulnerable to show people, who know me, all of these thoughts, as they can be very messy. I want to show a more polished version of my thoughts instead of what I might just wing on the day and post. But at the same time, I don't want to take away the honesty and sense of myself. I don't expect people to necessarily care about my life or what I want to write posts about but I want to give them the opportunity to see it. If I am serious about doing something with writing professionally, I need to want people to know that those are my words. How would they have a clue if I didn't tell them?
However, this is not what this post is about. But perhaps these thoughts resurfaced because of my hiatus? I think they might have because I allowed myself a break from posting online to figure out what I actually want to be posting online. What do I want to say? What do I want to write? What do I want to photograph? What do I want to share? Who do I want to see what I post? All these are valid questions. I don't have the answers to them yet; not concrete ones anyway. I just know that I want to write the things that I enjoy writing and if I am proud of something, then I shouldn't be scared to share it. I'm not saying I'll start spamming all my Facebook friends with fanfics - fuck no. But to create blog posts under my real name and try out a more considerate and contemplative way of writing posts? That might be a cool thing.
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