Judging a Dressage Competition | Challenging Myself
I doubt that stepping outside of your comfort zone is easy for anyone. It sort of lies in the word itself, it's a place where you feel comfortable. However, some people probably like to push the boundaries and expand what makes them comfortable by learning new things. I'm not one of those people and yet I find myself often doing it anyway. It's more out of a knowledge that it's important to try new things, even those that make me uncomfortable at first, to grow as a person. That was the reason I said yes to judging a dressage competition today, despite having no qualifications or experience whatsoever.
Alright, the experience part might be a slight exaggerated. Sue me, I like being a bit dramatic on here. I have had my own horse for nearly ten years and competed in probably around thirty competitions where I'd usually perform two different dressage programmes. But just because I've received feedback on my dressage riding doesn't mean that I'd be able to dish out grades and comments myself. However, my trainer seemed adamant that I would do absolutely fine and asked me to judge the training dressage competition at the stables where her daughter's pony lives.
Initially, I wanted to say no. It's mostly the instant reaction I have to anything unfamiliar and thereby scary. I didn't feel up for it and the competition would be smack down in the middle of an exam (which I'm too far behind on as of writing this but I need to get my butt into gear before the oral examination on Wednesday). I asked my mother for advice because whenever I feel insecure or uncertain about something I always like to get advice and validation from her. I'm very self-aware but I've got my blindspots and while I don't care about the opinion of random people or acquaintances, I highly value the thoughts from those closest to me.
A thing about my mother though... I'm almost always granted her vote of confidence. It sometimes seems that she thinks I could do absolutely anything, which makes the realist inside of me recoil a bit while the dreamer preens and agrees. It's a complicated thing but with both the assurances from my mother and my trainer, I decided to accept the judge gig, which I went to this morning.
I'd read up on it a little bit beforehand but not as much as I'd planned to do. I've been having quite a few bad brain days lately, which is less than ideal in the middle of an exam, so motivation has been very low. However, I'd promised I'd show, so show up I did... at the wrong stable at first. The GPS told me I had arrived and I saw horses but more like schooling ponies getting tacked up than people preparing for a dressage competition. I walked around for seven minutes or so before I finally bit the bullet and asked someone if I was at the right stable. I always get a head-rush and feel jittery when I have to approach a stranger and ask for help like that, which was why I lingered around for a while before forcing myself to do it. As always, they were nice and pointed me in the right direction. Jumping back into the car, I drove down the road and found the right place and spotted my trainer - bless.
Everybody seemed nice and I got situated inside of a car. There was a bit of a mix up with who'd actually be writing for me but eventually someone showed up. Alright, now sitting inside of the car with gloomy weather outside and trying to acutely judge an equipage's performance was terrifying. I won't sugar-coat it because my heart started racing, just like when I'd showed up at the wrong stable. Would I be able to do it? I had no experience to pull from, nothing to logically support me and despite being involved in the sport for years, I'd never been on this side of the fence. Forcing a subtle deep breath, I was thrown into as the first rider started and I had to keep track of the programme and offer grades and comments during the ride. Yikes.
It got better with practice. A lot of people performed that first programme and I got the hang of it. I was worried I was judging a little low, aka. being stingy with the grades, for the level of the LD classes but it turned out fine in the end for the overall grades. But let me tell you, I've gained a new respect for judges because it's really hard to keep track of everything; movements, pace, posture, rider's affect, obedience and performing the exercises. It's a lot and I only really judged programmes below my own level of riding - it would have been a nightmare to do those above where the exercises gets more complicated.
Surprisingly, time passed rather fast and before I knew it, I'd given four hours of my time and judged around 30 equipages. It had started raining half-way through and my heart ached for the riders and their horses because it's just not fun to get wet while trying to make a beautiful display of cooperation and elegance. I talked to my trainer on and off during the day and she seemed pleased that I'd awarded the people training with her the highest points. To be fair, I didn't even know which were her riders other than her daughter. However, it's hardly surprising I value her way of riding highly after having trained with her for years but I'm quite chuffed that I spotted them anyway. I made a big deal internally of judging everyone fairly to what I saw and hold them to the same standard within their level. That being said, it was just a training competition and there was a lot of exceptions, such as someone riding bareback and Icelandic horses displaying tölt rather than trot. It was mostly to be a fun and nice experience, which took the edge off a bit.
The weather wasn't on our side but spirits were high and it was fun to see the community of a different stable. They all seemed rather pleased with my judgement as well, which was nice and soothing after how much I'd worked myself up beforehand. They even talked about inviting me to judge future competitions as well, which was a bit surreal.
I actually sat on the floor at home right before I left and felt my eyes water a tiny bit. Sitting on the ground always grounds me (was that a pun?), so I try to do it when I can feel my brain "overheating". As for the tearing up part, I don't know, I just feel scared that my efforts wouldn't be good enough. It's a problem that I'm working with. I'm a very capably human being and I know I'll do fine in most situations because of that, however, I don't like just doing fine. I want to do well. I have too many perfectionist tendencies and while they push me to work harder, they also immobilise me a bit when I feel unprepared, especially when I'm outside of my comfort zone.
I only agreed to judge the competition as a favour to my trainer but I'm glad I did it. It turned out better than I expected and even if I felt like I was fairly "winging it", which makes me uneasy at best, it all turned out okay. Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have a hard time stepping outside of my comfort zone but it's because of experiences like this that I do it. Now I have the experience for next time and I grew more comfortable and secure during the competition. Every time I challenge myself, I will learn something and most of the time it actually turns out to be a positive experience. That's the reason I keep pushing and expanding my sacred comfort zone because life would be too predictable, even for me, if I didn't challenge myself every once in a while.
Alright, the experience part might be a slight exaggerated. Sue me, I like being a bit dramatic on here. I have had my own horse for nearly ten years and competed in probably around thirty competitions where I'd usually perform two different dressage programmes. But just because I've received feedback on my dressage riding doesn't mean that I'd be able to dish out grades and comments myself. However, my trainer seemed adamant that I would do absolutely fine and asked me to judge the training dressage competition at the stables where her daughter's pony lives.
Initially, I wanted to say no. It's mostly the instant reaction I have to anything unfamiliar and thereby scary. I didn't feel up for it and the competition would be smack down in the middle of an exam (which I'm too far behind on as of writing this but I need to get my butt into gear before the oral examination on Wednesday). I asked my mother for advice because whenever I feel insecure or uncertain about something I always like to get advice and validation from her. I'm very self-aware but I've got my blindspots and while I don't care about the opinion of random people or acquaintances, I highly value the thoughts from those closest to me.
A thing about my mother though... I'm almost always granted her vote of confidence. It sometimes seems that she thinks I could do absolutely anything, which makes the realist inside of me recoil a bit while the dreamer preens and agrees. It's a complicated thing but with both the assurances from my mother and my trainer, I decided to accept the judge gig, which I went to this morning.
This is literally the only photo I took because I had to concentrate on judging the equipages
I'd read up on it a little bit beforehand but not as much as I'd planned to do. I've been having quite a few bad brain days lately, which is less than ideal in the middle of an exam, so motivation has been very low. However, I'd promised I'd show, so show up I did... at the wrong stable at first. The GPS told me I had arrived and I saw horses but more like schooling ponies getting tacked up than people preparing for a dressage competition. I walked around for seven minutes or so before I finally bit the bullet and asked someone if I was at the right stable. I always get a head-rush and feel jittery when I have to approach a stranger and ask for help like that, which was why I lingered around for a while before forcing myself to do it. As always, they were nice and pointed me in the right direction. Jumping back into the car, I drove down the road and found the right place and spotted my trainer - bless.
Everybody seemed nice and I got situated inside of a car. There was a bit of a mix up with who'd actually be writing for me but eventually someone showed up. Alright, now sitting inside of the car with gloomy weather outside and trying to acutely judge an equipage's performance was terrifying. I won't sugar-coat it because my heart started racing, just like when I'd showed up at the wrong stable. Would I be able to do it? I had no experience to pull from, nothing to logically support me and despite being involved in the sport for years, I'd never been on this side of the fence. Forcing a subtle deep breath, I was thrown into as the first rider started and I had to keep track of the programme and offer grades and comments during the ride. Yikes.
It got better with practice. A lot of people performed that first programme and I got the hang of it. I was worried I was judging a little low, aka. being stingy with the grades, for the level of the LD classes but it turned out fine in the end for the overall grades. But let me tell you, I've gained a new respect for judges because it's really hard to keep track of everything; movements, pace, posture, rider's affect, obedience and performing the exercises. It's a lot and I only really judged programmes below my own level of riding - it would have been a nightmare to do those above where the exercises gets more complicated.
From here - I always love seeing people's wonderful work on the horses' manes
Surprisingly, time passed rather fast and before I knew it, I'd given four hours of my time and judged around 30 equipages. It had started raining half-way through and my heart ached for the riders and their horses because it's just not fun to get wet while trying to make a beautiful display of cooperation and elegance. I talked to my trainer on and off during the day and she seemed pleased that I'd awarded the people training with her the highest points. To be fair, I didn't even know which were her riders other than her daughter. However, it's hardly surprising I value her way of riding highly after having trained with her for years but I'm quite chuffed that I spotted them anyway. I made a big deal internally of judging everyone fairly to what I saw and hold them to the same standard within their level. That being said, it was just a training competition and there was a lot of exceptions, such as someone riding bareback and Icelandic horses displaying tölt rather than trot. It was mostly to be a fun and nice experience, which took the edge off a bit.
The weather wasn't on our side but spirits were high and it was fun to see the community of a different stable. They all seemed rather pleased with my judgement as well, which was nice and soothing after how much I'd worked myself up beforehand. They even talked about inviting me to judge future competitions as well, which was a bit surreal.
I actually sat on the floor at home right before I left and felt my eyes water a tiny bit. Sitting on the ground always grounds me (was that a pun?), so I try to do it when I can feel my brain "overheating". As for the tearing up part, I don't know, I just feel scared that my efforts wouldn't be good enough. It's a problem that I'm working with. I'm a very capably human being and I know I'll do fine in most situations because of that, however, I don't like just doing fine. I want to do well. I have too many perfectionist tendencies and while they push me to work harder, they also immobilise me a bit when I feel unprepared, especially when I'm outside of my comfort zone.
I only agreed to judge the competition as a favour to my trainer but I'm glad I did it. It turned out better than I expected and even if I felt like I was fairly "winging it", which makes me uneasy at best, it all turned out okay. Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have a hard time stepping outside of my comfort zone but it's because of experiences like this that I do it. Now I have the experience for next time and I grew more comfortable and secure during the competition. Every time I challenge myself, I will learn something and most of the time it actually turns out to be a positive experience. That's the reason I keep pushing and expanding my sacred comfort zone because life would be too predictable, even for me, if I didn't challenge myself every once in a while.
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