Camp NaNoWriMo, Hoof Troubles, Happy Dogs, Baking Galore - oh, and Postponing Thesis

I don't think I've ever had such a comprehensive title, mentioning so many different topics but it feels oddly appropriate. These past couple of weeks have been odd but for the first time in a while, I actually feel like I'm on the upswing of things. 2019 didn't start out at all like I had thought it would but there's nothing I can do to change that now. I can only focus on the future and how I tackle the challenges that come my way and try my hardest to let go and forgive myself all those should haves.

While I have been internally stressing about my thesis stuff, without actually doing anything about it, I tried to find other things that could help me structure my daily life a little and bring me focus and joy. I've always found the act of creating something to be incredibly fulfilling and my outlet for many years has been writing. It still very much is but in the midst of heightened anxiety I had slipped away from it a little.

So when quite a few of the people in my fandom group chat said that they were going to do Camp NaNoWriMo - the follow up to the monthly challenge of writing 50,000 words in November (which I did) - I decided to join them. Unlike the original, here you are grouped into cabins with your friends (or strangers) and you can set the goal at whatever you want in terms of words or hours. Because I didn't want to put too much pressure on myself, I made the goal to put down 30,000 additional words to the story I had started writing in November. However, I might set the bar a little too low. Two weeks in and I had already hit my goal word count.

I had sat down every single day to write, writing between half an hour and four hours, over the course of the two weeks, almost always in a shared writing space where I would sometimes write alongside my cabin buddies. It felt wonderful to be creative and productive and to see the graph just rise and rise, and skyrocket well past the average needed already on Day 4. I'm proud of the story I'm working on at the moment and I adore the universe. It's a little bizarre not sharing it while working on it like I've done with other big works over the past couple of years. However, unlike a lot of other stuff I've worked on lately this is an entirely original work. My characters, my universe, my plot - nothing is borrowed. I've had a fondness for writing original plots and alternative universes but put other's characters or real people's likeness in them but it has been fun to write in a little vacuum where I can do literally whatever I want.

The story is nearly at 150,000 words, well over length of an average novel, and it is has one big conflict yet to be solved. And I already have vague ideas for more stuff in this universe. I'm excited what I might do with this in the future.

Now onto the second point in the title. Money had been extremely unlucky since mid-February and been on and off lame. First the smith discovered a hoof abbess in her right front hoof, which was treated in the course of a week. The following week, she was lame again, now in the left hind leg and the veterinarian was called out and assumed that it was because of cross parallel tension from being kept in the stables for a week. She was given medicine for a week and then spent another week being walked for a hour. She was seemingly ready to get back into action until she suddenly had a swollen left hind leg. It hadn't gone down after a couple of days, so out came another vet and he found a very deep hoof abscess and dug it out.

After another week with treating that, I called the smith back out to shoe her on all hooves as almost six weeks had passed since his last visit. He was able to fit the shoe over the hole on the left hind leg but even more shockingly he found two old hoof abscesses in the right hind leg that had stopped growing thanks to medicine but they had still gone undiscovered. I was in a bit of disbelief and wary of having hoping Money would be up and running again soon after all the let downs but she has been fine for the last two weeks. She's in good spirits and excited to be out with a rider again. We're still taking it slow and it's been mostly forest rides and very basic dressage but it's so good to be working again, even if I have gotten horribly out of shape after so many weeks of not riding. I'm just so happy that she's fine again and getting back to her old self.

Being at the stables and in Money's company has always been one of those places that was a bit like a sanctuary to me. I forget about everything besides focusing on my horse, I'm active and out in the fresh air while bonding with my beloved animal. There's hardly a better feeling and now we're approaching warmer temperature that makes it even nicer. 

Speaking of beloved animals, I've been taking care of the family dogs quite a lot. Robin just turned six months last week and I can hardly believe that it has been that long already. She's grown so much and she's nearly as tall as Hallie now, even if she's still slimmer and lighter with her roughly 20 kg. Her concentration is starting to go a little, like all dogs in her age when they enter the first hormonal phase, but she's still such a lovely dog.

Hallie has warmed up to her considerably in the last few months and they often lie next to each other and they can walk in sync when you have them on short leashes. Robin has developed a few naughty habits, like stealing socks, but she still sleeps on us like a little baby. Hallie has to mark her position as the Queen when Robin oversteps a little but she mostly does it gracefully and the little one is only pushing because she wants to play. With ten years between them, I think they're doing quite well for themselves.

Dogs are not called man's best friend for nothing. The amount of happiness and laughter these two have brought me cannot be put into words. Even when Robin is jumping around and wanting my attention when I'm working with my laptop, or when Hallie start to whine when she thinks it's about time she gets her dinner, I still love them very much. Robin is lying in my lap as I'm writing this, hazardously balancing my laptop as to not bother the snoozing pup. What you don't do for them.

Another thing I've found joy in lately, or more so rediscovered joy in, is definitely baking. I've been baking for my colleagues and for the family all through March and April. I have been baking everything from "Marmorkage", to lemon drizzle loaf, to Nutella swirl cookies, to brownies, to raspberry cupcakes. I've taken surprisingly few photos of my creations but I can assure you that they had been well-loved wherever they went. I'm still a little baffled at times that such simple ingredients can make something so delicious when tossed together. It feels a little like magic. I've been mostly using Tanya Bakes and I love how simple and yet diversified the recipes are.

And now, as we have made it through the heaps of photos and most of the various topics in the title, I come to the very last point but perhaps the most important one. I'm not going to be able to hand in my thesis in May. It has not been realistic for a while but it took me a long time to actually accept that- After all I've written many, often good, assignments with the deadline looming over me. Still, I didn't want this to be like that. I wanted to be able to take my time and do a good job with this.

Whether it's appropriate or not to feel this way, it's the last assignment I'll do while at university and it feels like I would be doing it a dishonour to throw something together at the very last minute, even if I might get lucky and still score a decent mark. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulder now that I have definitely made the decision to postpone. I feel more capable already. Last week, when my scooter Bastian wasn't starting, I called the shop immediately to try to schedule a pickup and by a twist of fate they could pick it up the following day and I was able to pick him up today. I'm a few thousand kroner poorer but he's in fine condition and I even drove by the hospital to donate blood on my way home.

I feel more in control and capable. And this time around, I won't be alone with the thesis. I was initially hesitant of the prospect of working alongside one of by best friends because I worried it would put too much tension on the friendship but now we've decided to go for it. And I actually  think it'll be good for the both of us. We can hold each other accountable. We'll kick thesis ass at the hand-in in September and for now, we have a lot of work ahead of us. I'm actually a little excited.