No Service on My Phone | Blogging My Day
Today turned out to be an ideal day to attempt to blog my day as it quickly became apparent that it would be pretty interesting to dot down my feelings throughout this particular day. It became a day full of challenges, emotional reactions (or lack thereof), victories and doubt.
When I woke up, I wasn't feeling well. I had arranged to have a training session with my riding instructor at 10.30 AM but I wasn't feeling up for it. It's unfortunately become a quite common thing for me over the past few days, no matter what it is I have to do. I'm trying to entirely blame the cold that doesn't want to let me go but I'm not sure it's purely physical anymore.
I pulled out my phone and went to send her a text and apologised for only giving her a two hour warning. However, something odd happened. The text didn't send. I checked the top left of my phone screen and it said no service.
Peculiar, I thought and went to restart my phone, which usually does the trick if it loses service. It had never happened at home before but I had encountered the problem when I was out and about sometimes. It didn't work and I suddenly remembered an e-mail about my number switching phone companies - something my Dad had set in motion to prepare for my birthday gift.
I checked the e-mail and evidently they had taken me off my old plan on the 25th of October, which was today's date. Great. No service. No 3G. My riding instructor doesn't have iMessage, so I had no way of getting my cancelation message to her. By then, I had already worked myself up over the issue with my phone and with adrenalin pumping through me it was quite simple to force my butt out of bed.
I chose to see it like a sign. This thing was almost physically pushing me out of bed. I had to get up and go to my training session because if I just stayed at home my instructor wouldn't know what had happened and she would have no way to reach me. I'm actually very proud of myself that I didn't let the prospect of going out with absolutely no lifeline get me too panicky. I did send my Dad a couple of frantic e-mails but I had no way to fix the problem in the moment and just had to go with the flow in this situation.
I still brought my phone and listened to the songs from my iTunes library, so I didn't have to drive in silence. I made it out to the stables in time, got saddled up (actually I put on all equipment but the saddle but that's not important for this story) and warmed up. Money was feeling good and working really well from the very beginning. Once my instructor arrived, we had one of the best rides we've had in a long time. Everything just worked and both my horse and I really put in the effort. We ended up riding for almost an hour but time was so lost on me because it was going so well.
So far being service free was going great and had yielded such a great outcome. It was a reminder that I shouldn't turn over in bed and just cancel everything because things feel hard/difficult/scary the moment the alarm jolts me awake. It's a very important lesson that I tend to forget.
I usually don't have any signal out at the stables anyhow, so there wasn't much of a change in that. On the drive back, I was even worrying less about possibly being stranded on the long empty forest stretch if my scooter broke down and the fact that I would have no way to contact anyone or make it home via public transport as I travel by a ticket on my phone. The thoughts were definitely still there (hey I am a worrier) but I chose not to give them a lot of attention. I acknowledged them but then told them to wait in "the unlikely corner" where they probably would remain. They did.
I made it home safely where I made some lunch and watched a few episodes of Bones and saw to my delight that they've just now added the eleventh season after I've just made it half-way though season 10. Talk about perfect timing. Afterwards, I picked up on one of my stories that I haven't worked on a while. I wrote for an hour and was making good progress.
Then my mother came home from work and of course the first thing she asked about, almost before she was through the door, was if I had heard back about the student position I had been interviewed for. See, this was the main reason I had been freaking out about not having any service on my phone. I was supposed to be told if I got the job "by early next week", which likely would be yesterday (where I didn't hear anything) or today but whoops, no calls could go through on my phone.
Mum told me immediately to get on my e-mail and send them an explanation as to why I hadn't been reachable today. I pulled up my e-mail only to find a e-mail from the company sitting in my inbox, only about twenty minutes old. I had gotten the job. They actually wanted to hire me. I scanned the e-mail quickly before handing my laptop to Mum and letting her see without saying anything.
She was over the moon about it, cheering and everything. She was doing all the things that I was supposed to do. I should be bouncing off the walls but I found myself sitting with my shoulders squeezed together. When Mum noticed, she asked about it and I tried my best to explain to her why I was so quiet about getting this job. It's a golden egg opportunity and I was excited about the prospect of working there and the job I would be doing but I still felt like I was a fraud. I felt like I had just tricked those people into thinking I was skilled and capable and when I started the job I would inevitably crash and burn.
I saw this text post on Tumblr dashboard a week ago and deeply related to it. It's something that's happened to me before but being offered this student position sent me right back to it. I might very well be experiencing Impostor Syndrome but then again I'm not sure because that would actually mean that I am smart and failure isn't the default outcome. I want that to be the case but I'm not sure it is, hence why I'm likely a perfect candidate for that syndrome.
Going back to how this relates to my No Service story, this e-mail was of course only sent because they couldn't get hold of me by phone. I can't say I minded actually. I'm much more comfortable with written words regardless of medium than talking on the phone. I've gotten better at talking over the phone but I still really dislike it and will try to avoid it at all costs. Once again, it turned out pretty neat that I didn't have service on my phone.
Dad brought home take-away for dinner and the four of us ate together. I had cancelled plans of meeting up with my two oldest friends the day before because I was feeling a bit worn down. I'm sad I didn't get to see them as I love hanging out with them but it was already an emotional turmoil of a day and it turned out to be the right choice to say no to go out. Dad was very excited about me getting the job as well and he had that big goofy proud smile that he's not even aware that he's doing. It's something that can bring embarrassment in some situations but here only in the presence of our family, it was cute.
It did make me feel a bit guilty over not being excited. I'm going in to sign the contract on Thursday and I don't quite know how I feel about it (which became even more apparent as I started this sentence several times looking for a way to explain how I'm feeling). It's a challenge and I'll undoubtedly learn a whole lot. I just know myself well enough that I can't accept these initial feelings of hesitation and worry as my permanent attitude. I usually get better once I grow accustomed to the situation and I might even go on to love it but I always hate new things.
After dinner, we finally figured out how to fix my No Service problem as we had actually received my new SIM card but it had been hidden away with my present that Mum insists on hiding from me, despite the fact that I already know what it is. I can't help but smile at this as it's my mother in a nutshell and I find it as adorable as I find it ridiculous. So around 7 PM, I got my service back! And a couple of texts and the missed call letting me know I got the job chimed in.
Happy and frankly tired, I retreated to my bedroom where I watched a couple of YouTube videos before returning to work on the story I picked up a few of hours earlier. I finished the chapter I had been working on just in time to tune in to Dan's weekly live show.
Afterwards, I somehow managed to be without contact lenses and tucked in before midnight, which is my usual goal but one I've been really bad at lately. Looking back through this post I can see why I might have been tired. With all the worry and anxiety about not having Service, having to go ride when I wasn't feeling great, possibly missing the call to offer me a job and so on, I had a fully packed day.
A common theme throughout my day was that I just had to adjust to the punches thrown my way and as long as I didn't flinch, things somehow worked out amazingly. This day probably a microcosm of how life generally works out and to show me that I can handle much more than I think I can. That is a recurring notion in my life at the moment but I'm scared to let go of it and to believe and trust in myself fully.
Believing that I can't do something to have it turn out that I can is great. Believing that I can do something to have it turn out I can't is terrifying.
I think that's why I clutch on to my insecurities so tightly. In an odd way, they protect me. I try to prove them wrong and it's working out great. I'm not sure what would happen if I were to completely abandon them. This last part is a topic for a later time. This post is by far long enough.
When I woke up, I wasn't feeling well. I had arranged to have a training session with my riding instructor at 10.30 AM but I wasn't feeling up for it. It's unfortunately become a quite common thing for me over the past few days, no matter what it is I have to do. I'm trying to entirely blame the cold that doesn't want to let me go but I'm not sure it's purely physical anymore.
I pulled out my phone and went to send her a text and apologised for only giving her a two hour warning. However, something odd happened. The text didn't send. I checked the top left of my phone screen and it said no service.
Peculiar, I thought and went to restart my phone, which usually does the trick if it loses service. It had never happened at home before but I had encountered the problem when I was out and about sometimes. It didn't work and I suddenly remembered an e-mail about my number switching phone companies - something my Dad had set in motion to prepare for my birthday gift.
I checked the e-mail and evidently they had taken me off my old plan on the 25th of October, which was today's date. Great. No service. No 3G. My riding instructor doesn't have iMessage, so I had no way of getting my cancelation message to her. By then, I had already worked myself up over the issue with my phone and with adrenalin pumping through me it was quite simple to force my butt out of bed.
I chose to see it like a sign. This thing was almost physically pushing me out of bed. I had to get up and go to my training session because if I just stayed at home my instructor wouldn't know what had happened and she would have no way to reach me. I'm actually very proud of myself that I didn't let the prospect of going out with absolutely no lifeline get me too panicky. I did send my Dad a couple of frantic e-mails but I had no way to fix the problem in the moment and just had to go with the flow in this situation.
I still brought my phone and listened to the songs from my iTunes library, so I didn't have to drive in silence. I made it out to the stables in time, got saddled up (actually I put on all equipment but the saddle but that's not important for this story) and warmed up. Money was feeling good and working really well from the very beginning. Once my instructor arrived, we had one of the best rides we've had in a long time. Everything just worked and both my horse and I really put in the effort. We ended up riding for almost an hour but time was so lost on me because it was going so well.
I took this photo of one of the stable cats over a month ago but I never posted, so I thought I'd pop it in here
So far being service free was going great and had yielded such a great outcome. It was a reminder that I shouldn't turn over in bed and just cancel everything because things feel hard/difficult/scary the moment the alarm jolts me awake. It's a very important lesson that I tend to forget.
I usually don't have any signal out at the stables anyhow, so there wasn't much of a change in that. On the drive back, I was even worrying less about possibly being stranded on the long empty forest stretch if my scooter broke down and the fact that I would have no way to contact anyone or make it home via public transport as I travel by a ticket on my phone. The thoughts were definitely still there (hey I am a worrier) but I chose not to give them a lot of attention. I acknowledged them but then told them to wait in "the unlikely corner" where they probably would remain. They did.
I made it home safely where I made some lunch and watched a few episodes of Bones and saw to my delight that they've just now added the eleventh season after I've just made it half-way though season 10. Talk about perfect timing. Afterwards, I picked up on one of my stories that I haven't worked on a while. I wrote for an hour and was making good progress.
Then my mother came home from work and of course the first thing she asked about, almost before she was through the door, was if I had heard back about the student position I had been interviewed for. See, this was the main reason I had been freaking out about not having any service on my phone. I was supposed to be told if I got the job "by early next week", which likely would be yesterday (where I didn't hear anything) or today but whoops, no calls could go through on my phone.
Mum told me immediately to get on my e-mail and send them an explanation as to why I hadn't been reachable today. I pulled up my e-mail only to find a e-mail from the company sitting in my inbox, only about twenty minutes old. I had gotten the job. They actually wanted to hire me. I scanned the e-mail quickly before handing my laptop to Mum and letting her see without saying anything.
She was over the moon about it, cheering and everything. She was doing all the things that I was supposed to do. I should be bouncing off the walls but I found myself sitting with my shoulders squeezed together. When Mum noticed, she asked about it and I tried my best to explain to her why I was so quiet about getting this job. It's a golden egg opportunity and I was excited about the prospect of working there and the job I would be doing but I still felt like I was a fraud. I felt like I had just tricked those people into thinking I was skilled and capable and when I started the job I would inevitably crash and burn.
Found on Tumblr - I reblogged this exactly a week ago and it's never been more relevant
I saw this text post on Tumblr dashboard a week ago and deeply related to it. It's something that's happened to me before but being offered this student position sent me right back to it. I might very well be experiencing Impostor Syndrome but then again I'm not sure because that would actually mean that I am smart and failure isn't the default outcome. I want that to be the case but I'm not sure it is, hence why I'm likely a perfect candidate for that syndrome.
Going back to how this relates to my No Service story, this e-mail was of course only sent because they couldn't get hold of me by phone. I can't say I minded actually. I'm much more comfortable with written words regardless of medium than talking on the phone. I've gotten better at talking over the phone but I still really dislike it and will try to avoid it at all costs. Once again, it turned out pretty neat that I didn't have service on my phone.
Dad brought home take-away for dinner and the four of us ate together. I had cancelled plans of meeting up with my two oldest friends the day before because I was feeling a bit worn down. I'm sad I didn't get to see them as I love hanging out with them but it was already an emotional turmoil of a day and it turned out to be the right choice to say no to go out. Dad was very excited about me getting the job as well and he had that big goofy proud smile that he's not even aware that he's doing. It's something that can bring embarrassment in some situations but here only in the presence of our family, it was cute.
It did make me feel a bit guilty over not being excited. I'm going in to sign the contract on Thursday and I don't quite know how I feel about it (which became even more apparent as I started this sentence several times looking for a way to explain how I'm feeling). It's a challenge and I'll undoubtedly learn a whole lot. I just know myself well enough that I can't accept these initial feelings of hesitation and worry as my permanent attitude. I usually get better once I grow accustomed to the situation and I might even go on to love it but I always hate new things.
After dinner, we finally figured out how to fix my No Service problem as we had actually received my new SIM card but it had been hidden away with my present that Mum insists on hiding from me, despite the fact that I already know what it is. I can't help but smile at this as it's my mother in a nutshell and I find it as adorable as I find it ridiculous. So around 7 PM, I got my service back! And a couple of texts and the missed call letting me know I got the job chimed in.
Happy and frankly tired, I retreated to my bedroom where I watched a couple of YouTube videos before returning to work on the story I picked up a few of hours earlier. I finished the chapter I had been working on just in time to tune in to Dan's weekly live show.
Found on Tumblr - Look at this adorable dork showing his new pug socks
Afterwards, I somehow managed to be without contact lenses and tucked in before midnight, which is my usual goal but one I've been really bad at lately. Looking back through this post I can see why I might have been tired. With all the worry and anxiety about not having Service, having to go ride when I wasn't feeling great, possibly missing the call to offer me a job and so on, I had a fully packed day.
A common theme throughout my day was that I just had to adjust to the punches thrown my way and as long as I didn't flinch, things somehow worked out amazingly. This day probably a microcosm of how life generally works out and to show me that I can handle much more than I think I can. That is a recurring notion in my life at the moment but I'm scared to let go of it and to believe and trust in myself fully.
Believing that I can't do something to have it turn out that I can is great. Believing that I can do something to have it turn out I can't is terrifying.
By a Girl who Loves to Write aka Me
I think that's why I clutch on to my insecurities so tightly. In an odd way, they protect me. I try to prove them wrong and it's working out great. I'm not sure what would happen if I were to completely abandon them. This last part is a topic for a later time. This post is by far long enough.
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