Initial Thoughts after the First Week of My Master Degree

It might seem very early to reflect on the courses of my first semester of my Master degree. It definitely feels early, even if I have now been introduced to all of the four courses and (most of) the people who'll be teaching me. However, I feel the need to write this down because I was worried about the jump from Bachelor to Master level and after this first week, I feel more at ease.

While my place of education remains the same, so I at least have the familiar environment, I still had to prepare to share classes with a whole lot of new people and a higher difficulty level than I had been used to. I was a bit apprehensive about starting but let me tell you our three introductory days did wonders. From the presentations and bonding exercises Tuesday and Wednesday as well as the afternoon chill and casual drinking afterwards and the entirely social and fun day on Saturday, I felt much more comfortable and ready to embark on my new educational endeavour.

It wasn't as extravagant as the bachelor intro but I still felt it all worked out for the best. We're older now and more experienced and we've all been through the university experience before. The ones that have decided to continue seem like the ones that are motivated to stay and work hard. It might sound a little bad but I felt like there was definitely a few of the students from my year on the bachelor that I don't feel like they should have gone to university. They weren't interested in learning the material, participating in the classes or actually engaging academically with their fellow students or the lecturers.

I'm taking half an hour break to write this post after having finished my reading for the upcoming lecture

I already feel like - and I really hope this continues to be true - that the people on my year on the Master are more motivated to be here. I can hear more excitement or well-considered points from my fellow students over this past week and the notion makes me a tiny bit giddy, which I'm actually surprised by. I didn't think I would feel like that.

When I was saying that I didn't like being in a university class with people that didn't seem to want to participate, I am essentially bashing my previous self a little bit. I always wanted to be there and learn (at least a lot of the time) but I was still hesitant to open my mouth. The fear of saying something wrong and feeling ridiculed runs so deep within me, even if I can't recall it ever actually happening to me. But I'm still scared to speak up if I'm not at least 90% sure in my answer.

I've gotten better at ignoring this little nagging voice in the back of my head and actually just speaking up without completely fully-formed opinions. I'm still considering and reflecting a lot before I speak but I will also just try to attribute something to the conversation, escpeially if there's a total lack of hands going up to answer a lecturer's question. Over my years at university, I've come to trust my smarts a little more. I'm not as scared I'll say something wrong.

And that's actually another part I've really enjoyed of the Master so far. Multiple lecturers have repeated the point that there isn't a "wrong" answer. It's something I've really grown to love about the humanities course of study. When I was younger and more mathematically inclined, having no correct answer scared me. But as I got older, even maths changed and you were allowed freedom in how you reached the correct answer, as long as you showed your work. It's this process I like with language, business and communication. I get to rely on my entire pool of knowledge and as long as I can back up what I'm saying, I'll be good.

Now backing things up academically is still something I'm a little on edge about. You read so much for these courses through several years and theorists and theories gets muddled in my head. I'm sure I instinctively recall bits of information from several ones when I make my point but having to cite still isn't my favourite. But then again, several lectures have also encouraged the use of common sense, which I'm all for honestly - it gives me more leeway.

I mentioned the reading material and that it something I'm still a bit scared about for the entirity of this semester. I've just mapped out the readings and assignments for September at the moment and it's such a long list. Most of the time it's over 50 pages for ever single lecture, sometimes as much as a 100 pages, as well as videos and detailed cases for the exercise classes. It'll be a whole lot of work and I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up. It's always easiest in the beginning but soon things will mush together and I might not always be able to get the reading done beforehand.

I feel obliged to. The lecturers tell us we need to show up prepared. I get it. It's awfully difficult to discuss and work on a case if no one has prepared it. It's awfully difficult to understand a summary of the main points of a heavy and long chapter if no one has read it. It's expected of us to be prepared and I want to do my best to try. Once of the reasons, I feel comfortable speaking up in class is when I've read the material. If I haven't, I revert back into old quiet habits and just observe because I know I'll have too many gaps in my knowledge and I don't want to be called out on it.

But overall, even with the initial and future worries, I'm feeling good about this. That last spring semester at half work-load of a usual university semester (but heavy work-wise for me) has actually renewed my spirits. The professors seem passionate and happy to be here to teach us new and exciting things, at least most of them. It's infectious and my fellow students seem motivated too. The reading material so far has been mostly interesting, though with the odd and dry text mixed in. There's also an increase in videos being used and websites and I think that's a really nice way to mix it up from reading text books and compendiums.

I'm excited to see what this first semester of my Master degree will provide me with. I'm sure I'll learn so much. I'm so privileged that I get to go to university and educate myself for free and even with financial help on top of it. I'm a bit scared of the final thesis looming in the future and the empty 3rd semester that I'll have to fill with either electives, internship or an exchange. But it's also kind of exciting. I hope I'll continue to trust my smarts and work hard.

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