Flying Home For Christmas
This isn't a part of my four advent posts, it's more of a spur-of-the-moment rant. I like those though. Currently, I'm sitting in Heatrhow airport with two hours to spare because the journey here went swimmingly and I had added extra time for if something happened. So, to help make the time go faster, I'm writing.
Flying is an odd thing. You're voluntary getting on a heavy machine that somehow can take flight and bring you very quickly from one place to the other. I've never had a problem with flying probably because I've travelled by plane so many times with my family and from a young age. My mum travelled a whole lot when I was younger and I never really questioned her authority when I was with her at airports. She had a very fast and effective system that got everyone where they needed to be, even if I often felt a bit rushed.
Now that I'm travelling on my own I'm thankful for having observed my mother "work" airports countless times. I know what is expected of me and it's a bonus I'm travelling through airports where I've been before. A sense of familiarity is so calming for me, even if I have just been a place once before. "Oh, yeah I know that place," I'll think even if it's a confusing or even sketchy neighbourhood or building to navigate. However, even if it the most friendliest place on Earth, chances are that I won't like a place the very first time I'm there. But I probably will the second time.
Having spent the first half of Christmas away from my family and friends from back home has been strange. Especially since for me, Christmas is all about your loved ones and spending time with them. I may have had decorated my room a tiny bit and gone to Christmassy events with my new friends from exchange but it isn't quite the same.
One thing that I have learnt about myself during this first part and majority of my exchange, is that I'm fine on my own. I've always been independent and if you give me a warm bed and an internet connection I'd probably be fine. What I mean is that I've learnt that I'm fine travelling on my own and even if it sometimes have caused my heart to be in my throat and small moments of panic, I've made it through that. I've had to calm myself down and force that interaction with strangers that I shy away from as much as possible. But those cases are rare, most of the time I have been absolutely fine and I felt kind of empowered by knowing "hey, I'm all on my own and I'm still doing pretty great".
My electronics definitely helps, they are a tether and a security blanket for me when I feel uneasy. Even without internet, I can pull out my computer and just start typing - kinda like I'm doing right now. It gives me something to focus on and somehow I always have something to say, whether it's sometimes nonsense is another matter. Even if I don't feel like putting my own feelings and thoughts down, I can continue writing or start a new of my fictional stories, which consequently still helps me express my emotions. I leave something behind of myself in every single one of my characters and sometimes they unintentionally voice my inner-most thoughts. On the rare occasion that I don't have my computer with me, I'll always have my phone. I love plopping in my headphones playing either music or a podcast, depending on my mood (if I'm anxious or physically moving I prefer music but I love listening to podcasts when I'm physically still, be that in a car or a plane) or even play some silly game that doesn't require too much thought process.
I'm so excited to be home in less than four hours, I can't wait to hug my parents and even my little brother though he's a tall teenager now and probably will only accept the hug momentarily. I also can't freaking wait to see my dog, for the last week or so I've had this vision in my head of her so, so excited. She'll be wagging her tail violently, jumping around while trying to give me sloppy kisses. I also can't wait to see my horse tomorrow, I'm not sure whether she really noticed too much as she's got someone looking after her but I definitely missed her so much. It tugs at my heartstrings to let go of control and let someone else train with her even if that person is the most amazing and skilled caretaker. I couldn't wish for someone else to look after her, but she's still my little baby horse.
With that I better stop, it's still an hour and a half until I can board but if I don't stop myself I'll go on forever. I might delve into some YouTube videos and just shut out the world for a while. I love free Wifi at the airport! And it'll be time to head home in no time at all.
Flying is an odd thing. You're voluntary getting on a heavy machine that somehow can take flight and bring you very quickly from one place to the other. I've never had a problem with flying probably because I've travelled by plane so many times with my family and from a young age. My mum travelled a whole lot when I was younger and I never really questioned her authority when I was with her at airports. She had a very fast and effective system that got everyone where they needed to be, even if I often felt a bit rushed.
Now that I'm travelling on my own I'm thankful for having observed my mother "work" airports countless times. I know what is expected of me and it's a bonus I'm travelling through airports where I've been before. A sense of familiarity is so calming for me, even if I have just been a place once before. "Oh, yeah I know that place," I'll think even if it's a confusing or even sketchy neighbourhood or building to navigate. However, even if it the most friendliest place on Earth, chances are that I won't like a place the very first time I'm there. But I probably will the second time.
Having spent the first half of Christmas away from my family and friends from back home has been strange. Especially since for me, Christmas is all about your loved ones and spending time with them. I may have had decorated my room a tiny bit and gone to Christmassy events with my new friends from exchange but it isn't quite the same.
One thing that I have learnt about myself during this first part and majority of my exchange, is that I'm fine on my own. I've always been independent and if you give me a warm bed and an internet connection I'd probably be fine. What I mean is that I've learnt that I'm fine travelling on my own and even if it sometimes have caused my heart to be in my throat and small moments of panic, I've made it through that. I've had to calm myself down and force that interaction with strangers that I shy away from as much as possible. But those cases are rare, most of the time I have been absolutely fine and I felt kind of empowered by knowing "hey, I'm all on my own and I'm still doing pretty great".
My electronics definitely helps, they are a tether and a security blanket for me when I feel uneasy. Even without internet, I can pull out my computer and just start typing - kinda like I'm doing right now. It gives me something to focus on and somehow I always have something to say, whether it's sometimes nonsense is another matter. Even if I don't feel like putting my own feelings and thoughts down, I can continue writing or start a new of my fictional stories, which consequently still helps me express my emotions. I leave something behind of myself in every single one of my characters and sometimes they unintentionally voice my inner-most thoughts. On the rare occasion that I don't have my computer with me, I'll always have my phone. I love plopping in my headphones playing either music or a podcast, depending on my mood (if I'm anxious or physically moving I prefer music but I love listening to podcasts when I'm physically still, be that in a car or a plane) or even play some silly game that doesn't require too much thought process.
I'm so excited to be home in less than four hours, I can't wait to hug my parents and even my little brother though he's a tall teenager now and probably will only accept the hug momentarily. I also can't freaking wait to see my dog, for the last week or so I've had this vision in my head of her so, so excited. She'll be wagging her tail violently, jumping around while trying to give me sloppy kisses. I also can't wait to see my horse tomorrow, I'm not sure whether she really noticed too much as she's got someone looking after her but I definitely missed her so much. It tugs at my heartstrings to let go of control and let someone else train with her even if that person is the most amazing and skilled caretaker. I couldn't wish for someone else to look after her, but she's still my little baby horse.
With that I better stop, it's still an hour and a half until I can board but if I don't stop myself I'll go on forever. I might delve into some YouTube videos and just shut out the world for a while. I love free Wifi at the airport! And it'll be time to head home in no time at all.
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