Trying to Breathe Steadily
February is upon us and with it comes another semester start. I know January is where most people see the year as starting but honestly, after having been in school and university for so long, I feel like new starts are in August/September when the new education year begins. Consequently, February feels like the halfway mark as you begin the second semester of that year. And here I am trying to make sure I make it through by taking deep breaths.
It's officially the last semester of my bachelor degree. I wrote that last year too but we all know how well that went. However, with only two courses left (half the usual load of a semester) I think I should be able to manage. I even get to have one of the courses with one of my best friends, which is a pleasant surprise that just got confirmed today.
It's been a cold and brisk first month of the proper year and I've had a bit ups and downs throughout this month. Maybe it's because I for the first time since I can recall haven't had university exams to worry about. It's left an odd void in my life, even though it's such a stressful thing and I have been working instead of studying. Lately, I've sometimes felt like I'm stepping outside in the cold air and it's almost painful to breathe in. The air bites and I gasp before I huff out a shaky exhale. I need to take a proper breath, drawing in my challenges and letting my body accept and work them, before breathing out deeply - watching my struggles come out and disperse in the air.
I feel confident that I know how to do my studies, even if I might be a bit rusty going in, and I'm fairly certain I can manage the instructor job I'm repeating from last year, as well as being completely confident in my receptionist job. The only one I'm still insecure about is my student job as a terminologist and the fact that's it's a lot of things to juggle for a person, who does best with being allowed to do hard-core amounts of nothing by themselves.
There's also the little thing about picking a Master and moving out... which you know isn't a big deal (it is). I'll have to handle it though and at this very moment I'm feeling good about it. I need to get into a routine and I feel like I'll feel confident when that time hopefully comes. If I can teach my non-dominant hand and non-dominant leg to perform the same tasks (almost at least) as their more experienced counterparts, then surely I can train my whole body and more importantly my mind to accept the state of things.
When it comes down to it, I feel like it might all be about breathing. Not just the physical act of breathing, though it is extremely important, but also the metaphorical act of taking a step back, making sure you are okay and taking a moment to gauge the situation before proceeding.
I don't think you'll ever finish striving for the perfect balance between responsibilities, passion projects and down time but that's okay. The mere act of doing, or just trying to do, all those things simultaneously is amazing and we're all doing great. We can't do anything more than trying our best.
It's officially the last semester of my bachelor degree. I wrote that last year too but we all know how well that went. However, with only two courses left (half the usual load of a semester) I think I should be able to manage. I even get to have one of the courses with one of my best friends, which is a pleasant surprise that just got confirmed today.
It's been a cold and brisk first month of the proper year and I've had a bit ups and downs throughout this month. Maybe it's because I for the first time since I can recall haven't had university exams to worry about. It's left an odd void in my life, even though it's such a stressful thing and I have been working instead of studying. Lately, I've sometimes felt like I'm stepping outside in the cold air and it's almost painful to breathe in. The air bites and I gasp before I huff out a shaky exhale. I need to take a proper breath, drawing in my challenges and letting my body accept and work them, before breathing out deeply - watching my struggles come out and disperse in the air.
Found here - this image is absolutely gorgeous and shows how your breath becomes visible
There's also the little thing about picking a Master and moving out... which you know isn't a big deal (it is). I'll have to handle it though and at this very moment I'm feeling good about it. I need to get into a routine and I feel like I'll feel confident when that time hopefully comes. If I can teach my non-dominant hand and non-dominant leg to perform the same tasks (almost at least) as their more experienced counterparts, then surely I can train my whole body and more importantly my mind to accept the state of things.
From Tumblr - I've seen this multiple times and I think it'll do me good to have it permanently on my blog
When it comes down to it, I feel like it might all be about breathing. Not just the physical act of breathing, though it is extremely important, but also the metaphorical act of taking a step back, making sure you are okay and taking a moment to gauge the situation before proceeding.
You can't work if your breath is shallow and your mind is in scrambles.
By a Girl who Loves to Write aka Me
I don't think you'll ever finish striving for the perfect balance between responsibilities, passion projects and down time but that's okay. The mere act of doing, or just trying to do, all those things simultaneously is amazing and we're all doing great. We can't do anything more than trying our best.
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