Saying Goodbye To 2015
Yesterday, I read a blog post from Zoe Sugg about saying goodbye to 2015 and her heartfelt and raw post inspired me to write one for myself. After all, 2015 was a very eventful year.
The first half of my year stayed true to the same routine I've had for some time. I'd split my time between studying at university, working as a receptionist, training with my horse and spending time with my friends and family. However, I did go on a trip with my family and as well as one other significant thing; coming to terms with my social anxiety and finally talking to my mum about it.
Let's start with the more cheery one; a short holiday in Berlin during Easter. Because my little brother decided against confirmation, my mum decided he should go on an educational holiday instead. Despite the close proximity to Denmark, I have not been to Germany many times and with the exception of a few hours during a lay-over I'd never been to Berlin before.
In some sense, I think that trip actually made me realise I've grown up quite a bit. When I was a child and a teenager, I really disliked museums and looking at old things because I didn't understand their significance. Maybe it's because I'm becoming older and more aware of the hold history always have on us but during that trip I was all ears and learnt quite a lot of important World history.
Then to the not so fun part; by this point I'm quite sure I have social anxiety. I've always been shy and uncomfortable in crowds or around strangers. During my "gymnasium" time I would even hide in the bathroom to eat my lunch sometimes - it got really bad. I would easily get the feeling that no one liked me and I was annoying everyone with my presence. I've gotten much better at it now, but I still struggle with it sometimes. If I don't feel like people want me there, I'd rather go home and be on my own. I also have a thing about sitting in a stopped car that really freaks me out - and I have no idea quite why. If I'm with either of my parents, sometimes if we can't find a parking space they'll just stop the car somewhere, potentially illegal or blocking other parked cars in, and ask me to move the car if something comes up. I absolutely HATE it. I feel trapped and like I can't get out because I can't just drive off and remove myself from the situation because my parent will come running back in no time.
I took a few quizzes online because curiosity got the better of me and all of them said I had mild to moderate social anxiety. I know you shouldn't trust anything you read online and definitely not tests, which autenticity can't be proven. However, having a term on it does oddly help as well as knowing people struggle with the same issues. I know I'm lucky and only have those pangs of fear or the feeling of being trapped very rarely but I'm still working on ridding me of it completely.
Exams came and went in June and thinking back on it I don't even recall how that time was for me. I know I had been very organised all semester and did quite well on all of them. But some of the courses that semester seemed to be repeating a lot of the same content and some of it didn't seem too relevant.
In July, as always, my family went on a international holiday. This time it was England, or more specifically South of England along the coast as well as London. It was a wonderful holiday and I enjoyed getting a taste of the English culture that I would be part of just a couple of months later. We rented a car and drove along the coast to numerous places; we went to Brighton, Eastbourne, Hastings, Torquay, Stonehedge, Port Issac and much more. It was so lovely to be surrounded by British culture, British accents (why are they so bloody attractive?) and British food.
Unfortunately, dad had to go home a few days early for work and he didn't join us for London but I really enjoyed revisiting London. There's something about London that reminds me slightly of Copenhagen and though it's much bigger, it seems like a cosy city. I'm also a sucker for the history that I definitely paid more attention to this time around as opposed to 2009.
Upon return from England, I really started using my blog properly and uploading loads. When I tried to remember what I had done for this year I automatically went to my blog and looked at the things I blogged about. I wish I had done more in the first half of the year.
As always during the summer I spent some time with my Grandma. She's 78 years old now and I know one day I'll lose her just like I lost my Grandfather. They've been such a big part of my upbringing and always a source of constant support and love. She's getting older and older and often has some weird ideas or behave slightly inappropriately and she never wants me to be bored when I come to stay. I've tried telling her that I'd never be bored in her company but she insists on arranging trips. This year we embarked on a trip to Fanø where I've actually never been so it was quite cool. Now, I've also tried driving a car onto a ferry. I love my short summer holidays with my Grandma and will definitely keep the tradition for as long as possible.
Come September, I probably made the scariest move so far. I was going to England on exchange and for a whole three months I'd be away from home. I had never flown completely alone ever before or lived anywhere other than my family house. How I ever thought it was a good idea to go on exchange, I don't know - but I am so happy I did it.
I met so many challenges but overcame them all. I met loads of new people and although, it was absolutely terrifying at first, I got past it and made good friends with a group of lovely girls from all over the world. I've also gotten to learn so much about loads of different cultures and gotten a taste of the British education system, which is quite different to ours back home. I started blogging my experiences like crazy and I know I'll be so thankful to look back on those years from now and remember my struggles and triumphs.
My three months flew by simultaneously too quickly and too slowly. I actually quite loved it over there and I liked getting that taste of independence. However, I got lonely at times too and could almost hear my home beckoning me. Academically, I got into some really interesting courses and especially enjoyed the ones made specifically for exchange students. However, the management courses proved a challenge. I was having a good time and enjoying my "easy" history and literature classes that didn't require any preparation and I think I sort of forgot how to study for regular courses.
I'm still suffering under this today with only five days to write a 3,000 word assignment that'll make up all of my grade. I've just lost all motivation to reading academic texts, researching and writing papers. It's ironic when I love writing so much when it's for my stories or my blog.
Speaking of my stories, I'm so happy with all the writing I've done on Wattpad this year. I finished my first book that was written continuously on the website and turned it into a series, I finished my songfic short story, I launched two bonus books to my main series, started and finished the second main book, took part in a writing competition and began a book of individual short stories. I've gotten so much feedback on my stories and I'm still so happy and amazed random people want to read my words.
My popular stories are all related to YouTube, which seems appropriate as I spends so much time on that media. I'm especially invested in the YouTubers that I'm subscribed to and because lots of them are from England I actually got to meet some of them. It was actually really nice seeing them in person, as they are just normal people after all and all seemed so lovely. I met Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Zoe Sugg and Joe Sugg. I also got the opportunity to see Dan & Phil's The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire, which was absolutely amazing and had me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I'd probably never gotten to see it otherwise because I highly doubt Denmark will be on their next tour schedule.
I came home in the middle of December to spend Christmas with my loved ones and that's what I've been doing. I've been catching up with friends, family and animals. I'm still sort of in a limbo though, stuck between wanting to be on holiday but knowing so many responsibilities await me in this coming year and that I should get started on them.
Here's to 2016 - may it bring challenges, triumphs and good times with the people I love.
The first half of my year stayed true to the same routine I've had for some time. I'd split my time between studying at university, working as a receptionist, training with my horse and spending time with my friends and family. However, I did go on a trip with my family and as well as one other significant thing; coming to terms with my social anxiety and finally talking to my mum about it.
Let's start with the more cheery one; a short holiday in Berlin during Easter. Because my little brother decided against confirmation, my mum decided he should go on an educational holiday instead. Despite the close proximity to Denmark, I have not been to Germany many times and with the exception of a few hours during a lay-over I'd never been to Berlin before.
In some sense, I think that trip actually made me realise I've grown up quite a bit. When I was a child and a teenager, I really disliked museums and looking at old things because I didn't understand their significance. Maybe it's because I'm becoming older and more aware of the hold history always have on us but during that trip I was all ears and learnt quite a lot of important World history.
Then to the not so fun part; by this point I'm quite sure I have social anxiety. I've always been shy and uncomfortable in crowds or around strangers. During my "gymnasium" time I would even hide in the bathroom to eat my lunch sometimes - it got really bad. I would easily get the feeling that no one liked me and I was annoying everyone with my presence. I've gotten much better at it now, but I still struggle with it sometimes. If I don't feel like people want me there, I'd rather go home and be on my own. I also have a thing about sitting in a stopped car that really freaks me out - and I have no idea quite why. If I'm with either of my parents, sometimes if we can't find a parking space they'll just stop the car somewhere, potentially illegal or blocking other parked cars in, and ask me to move the car if something comes up. I absolutely HATE it. I feel trapped and like I can't get out because I can't just drive off and remove myself from the situation because my parent will come running back in no time.
I took a few quizzes online because curiosity got the better of me and all of them said I had mild to moderate social anxiety. I know you shouldn't trust anything you read online and definitely not tests, which autenticity can't be proven. However, having a term on it does oddly help as well as knowing people struggle with the same issues. I know I'm lucky and only have those pangs of fear or the feeling of being trapped very rarely but I'm still working on ridding me of it completely.
Exams came and went in June and thinking back on it I don't even recall how that time was for me. I know I had been very organised all semester and did quite well on all of them. But some of the courses that semester seemed to be repeating a lot of the same content and some of it didn't seem too relevant.
In July, as always, my family went on a international holiday. This time it was England, or more specifically South of England along the coast as well as London. It was a wonderful holiday and I enjoyed getting a taste of the English culture that I would be part of just a couple of months later. We rented a car and drove along the coast to numerous places; we went to Brighton, Eastbourne, Hastings, Torquay, Stonehedge, Port Issac and much more. It was so lovely to be surrounded by British culture, British accents (why are they so bloody attractive?) and British food.
Unfortunately, dad had to go home a few days early for work and he didn't join us for London but I really enjoyed revisiting London. There's something about London that reminds me slightly of Copenhagen and though it's much bigger, it seems like a cosy city. I'm also a sucker for the history that I definitely paid more attention to this time around as opposed to 2009.
Upon return from England, I really started using my blog properly and uploading loads. When I tried to remember what I had done for this year I automatically went to my blog and looked at the things I blogged about. I wish I had done more in the first half of the year.
As always during the summer I spent some time with my Grandma. She's 78 years old now and I know one day I'll lose her just like I lost my Grandfather. They've been such a big part of my upbringing and always a source of constant support and love. She's getting older and older and often has some weird ideas or behave slightly inappropriately and she never wants me to be bored when I come to stay. I've tried telling her that I'd never be bored in her company but she insists on arranging trips. This year we embarked on a trip to Fanø where I've actually never been so it was quite cool. Now, I've also tried driving a car onto a ferry. I love my short summer holidays with my Grandma and will definitely keep the tradition for as long as possible.
Come September, I probably made the scariest move so far. I was going to England on exchange and for a whole three months I'd be away from home. I had never flown completely alone ever before or lived anywhere other than my family house. How I ever thought it was a good idea to go on exchange, I don't know - but I am so happy I did it.
I met so many challenges but overcame them all. I met loads of new people and although, it was absolutely terrifying at first, I got past it and made good friends with a group of lovely girls from all over the world. I've also gotten to learn so much about loads of different cultures and gotten a taste of the British education system, which is quite different to ours back home. I started blogging my experiences like crazy and I know I'll be so thankful to look back on those years from now and remember my struggles and triumphs.
My three months flew by simultaneously too quickly and too slowly. I actually quite loved it over there and I liked getting that taste of independence. However, I got lonely at times too and could almost hear my home beckoning me. Academically, I got into some really interesting courses and especially enjoyed the ones made specifically for exchange students. However, the management courses proved a challenge. I was having a good time and enjoying my "easy" history and literature classes that didn't require any preparation and I think I sort of forgot how to study for regular courses.
I'm still suffering under this today with only five days to write a 3,000 word assignment that'll make up all of my grade. I've just lost all motivation to reading academic texts, researching and writing papers. It's ironic when I love writing so much when it's for my stories or my blog.
Speaking of my stories, I'm so happy with all the writing I've done on Wattpad this year. I finished my first book that was written continuously on the website and turned it into a series, I finished my songfic short story, I launched two bonus books to my main series, started and finished the second main book, took part in a writing competition and began a book of individual short stories. I've gotten so much feedback on my stories and I'm still so happy and amazed random people want to read my words.
My popular stories are all related to YouTube, which seems appropriate as I spends so much time on that media. I'm especially invested in the YouTubers that I'm subscribed to and because lots of them are from England I actually got to meet some of them. It was actually really nice seeing them in person, as they are just normal people after all and all seemed so lovely. I met Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Zoe Sugg and Joe Sugg. I also got the opportunity to see Dan & Phil's The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire, which was absolutely amazing and had me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I'd probably never gotten to see it otherwise because I highly doubt Denmark will be on their next tour schedule.
I came home in the middle of December to spend Christmas with my loved ones and that's what I've been doing. I've been catching up with friends, family and animals. I'm still sort of in a limbo though, stuck between wanting to be on holiday but knowing so many responsibilities await me in this coming year and that I should get started on them.
Here's to 2016 - may it bring challenges, triumphs and good times with the people I love.
Comments
Post a Comment